What does growing WELL look like in difficult life situations or during our recovery process? What I have realized is - in order to thrive WELL - we must learn how to live in the present.

Bottom line: let’s do what we need to do to get comfortable in the bodies God gave us. This could mean air-conditioning and this could also mean positive self-talk or anything in between but it does NOT have to mean losing weight. The end.

I don’t even think I realized how uncomfortable I was in my own home. By evening, I could feel sweat rolling down my back; then at night, I would lie in bed with no covers over me, waiting for the heat to pass. It just became the norm, the expected. Could there be a better way? I refused, stubbornly, to see air-conditioning as an option.

The first is to develop techniques and skills that will help us navigate the actual trigger. Think of these as your breaking-point strategies when you actually get triggered. The second is to develop habits and skills that will help your brain calm down and not be in a traumatized, heightened state. Think of these as your maintenance strategies. I explain this further below.

Today I am not where I used to be, praise God. I am not trying to fix it, I am not denying it. I have moved through it and am living in a place of so much joy, peace and wholeness.

Whatever you are facing today that is causing you to feel powerless, I want you to hear me say: you don’t have to stay here. The war is already won.

I think it’s important that we name the impact that trauma has had on our lives. And how it impacts our behaviors. Naming the pain helps validate what we are experiencing. And it also gives us a loose roadmap for seeing if we are moving in the right direction or not as we look for - are these symptoms improving? Or no?

Since reframing trauma in this way, I have also been able to reframe the implications of trauma. It doesn’t mean that there is no hope. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is the abuser.

When we name our pain, we are restoring honor and dignity.

Confession time: I’ve spent so many years hiding girls. If I'm TOTALLY honest and vulnerable with you - I've gotten good at hiding my Faith and my work / life story. Two incredibly important things that deserve to take up a lot of space.

It wasn’t until year six in our recovery that I got to a point where I realized the risk of change was less than the risk of staying the same. I had a sweet baby boy, God’s gift to us and yet my heart was cold. I knew I didn’t want this to be my family’s legacy. So one night, lying in bed, I decided to choose to trust God again. To give Him my life.

I remember finally getting to the point where I allowed myself to grieve-I would wail for hours in my closet and the sounds coming from deep inside actually frightened me. I realized at this moment that because I hadn’t allowed myself to fully grieve anything since childhood, it was years of pain and heartache all coming out like floodwaters through a broken dam.

In the last blog post, I talked about what it looks like to show up for others and to also show up for ourselves. I even included some ways I’ve showed up for myself this week - just to get your mind churning as to how you can show up for YOU.

Cause this momma isn't porn, never has been, never will be. I'm the real deal.  The whole enchilada.  I'm mind, heart, body and soul.  Not just a body.

I realized - within me was a little girl that was heartbroken - and this is what made the situation so very painful.  The little girl within.

When we are more stressed - our propensity for being triggered increases. In addition, the trigger is going to feel even stronger.

The key is to be aware of the old coping mechanism cropping back up and to course-correct as soon as possible.

So often we give others power in our lives that only belong to us.

My hope is that each of you can approach next week feeling empowered, connected to yourself and more confident than in years past.