On Thriving: Staying in the Present
I am thrilled to have Tracy Binder, one of my coaches and group facilitators share a piece on what it has looked like to pivot from Surviving to Thriving this summer! This woman has the biggest heart with so much love to share and I am so so grateful to have her on my team. You can read Tracy’s bio here.
Just Surviving
This past May, as the school year was ending, I felt like I barely had my head above water. We call it Maycember in our house.
End of year programs, sports banquets, last minute projects at school and the list goes on and on. I was falling into bed at night and as one of my best friends says, “I was running wide open.”
Seriously girls, we were just surviving.
Dinner time would arrive and my husband and I would look at each other and say, "Should we order out AGAIN?!"
I needed summer here and quickly.
I needed the kids to sleep in a bit and for us not to be in the car by 7:30 am.
I needed to not pack lunches, I was D-O-N-E packing lunches. In fact the last week of school I took them all Chick-Fil-A because I could not pack one more lunch.
Sound familiar at all?
Sharing this in one of the groups I facilitate - one of my dearest women said - "I know you are feeling weary, but this time will end. Enjoy these times the best that you can."
This kinda punched me in the gut. How was I supposed to enjoy exhaustion, no margin and running around like a chicken with my head cut off? That is how I felt.
Shifting to Thriving
What is the definition of thriving? Well, Webster defines it as "to grow or develop WELL". Oh there was the word I was missing: WELL.
What does growing WELL look like in difficult life situations or during our recovery process? What I have realized is - in order to thrive WELL - we must learn how to live in the present.
Staying in the Present
A verse that has helped me stay focused on the present over the last year (as well as on my recovery journey) is Psalm 119:105 “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
When I am faced with a trial, I want to know "why?" I want to know "when will it be over?" I want to know "how it will end?" (Can any of you relate?!)
This verse shows us that first God gives us a lamp unto our FEET. We are reminded that we are on solid ground when we trust in Him. And He is a light unto our PATH. He is not lighting our whole path. He is lighting 1-2 steps ahead. We cannot see the middle or the end or the how.
I picture Him bending down as a parent would to a small child, and putting His arms around me. Looking me in the eye and saying “Let’s just do today”. I am not alone in this. He is with me. He is doing things ahead of me I can not see. I only need to do today. I need to stay in the present.
Other Strategies to Stay In the Present
I have several other go-to strategies besides focusing on the verse above.
#1 - Grounding Techniques
One thing that has really helped are grounding techniques. These strategies help calm our minds and and our thinking and bring our focus back to our bodies and surroundings. In other words, grounding strategies help us come back to the present instead of worrying about the “what is next”.
My favorite grounding exercise is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding strategy using our five senses. Here is what it looks like:
5 - Name FIVE things you see around you.
4 - Name FOUR things you can touch around you. (And touch them!)
3 - Name THREE things you hear.
2 - Name TWO things you can smell. (Reach of for a candle or a book and smell it in!
1 - Name ONE thing you can taste. (Put a piece of gum in your mouth or think about a food you love and imagine what it takes like.)
#2 - Getting Out In Creation
Another go-to strategy is to get out in creation. Somedays this is going for a walk or run. Other days this may be just taking a five minute break on my porch and listening to the sounds of creation.
#3 - Cultivating Quiet Time
Another option: cultivating quiet time with the Lord. I try so hard to get up before my kids get up so I can start my day in the quiet. I don’t know about you, but when I sleep through my alarm and kids are in my room before I open my eyes, I feel like the day has started me, as opposed to me starting the day. In the quiet time I like to pray, sometimes out loud. Sometimes I journal or write. I like to read my devotion. I get in His Word. Remember “Thy Word” is a lamp and who is the Word? God.
#4 - Connecting
We are designed to connect and be in community. When I reach out and connect with safe people, this fills my tank and allows me to be a better wife, mom, friend, co-worker, coach, daughter or whatever role I need to hold that day. Also, when I connect I realize I am not alone and I am not the only one who feels like I do in this trial.
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So ladies as we learn to thrive in our recovery process, let us all commit to trying to stay in the present. As we stay in the present we let go of some of the control and lean more into trusting God and His great plan for our lives.
Would love to hear from you all. How do you stay in the present? Let's share with one another and know we are not alone.
Shine On,
Tracy