Bottom Line: We must understand and respect what is happening in our brains and bodies in order to GET to detachment. Practicing grounding exercises and other strategies to decrease those trauma symptoms is KEY.

I don’t even think I realized how uncomfortable I was in my own home. By evening, I could feel sweat rolling down my back; then at night, I would lie in bed with no covers over me, waiting for the heat to pass. It just became the norm, the expected. Could there be a better way? I refused, stubbornly, to see air-conditioning as an option.

The first is to develop techniques and skills that will help us navigate the actual trigger. Think of these as your breaking-point strategies when you actually get triggered. The second is to develop habits and skills that will help your brain calm down and not be in a traumatized, heightened state. Think of these as your maintenance strategies. I explain this further below.

Today I am not where I used to be, praise God. I am not trying to fix it, I am not denying it. I have moved through it and am living in a place of so much joy, peace and wholeness.

I think it’s important that we name the impact that trauma has had on our lives. And how it impacts our behaviors. Naming the pain helps validate what we are experiencing. And it also gives us a loose roadmap for seeing if we are moving in the right direction or not as we look for - are these symptoms improving? Or no?

Since reframing trauma in this way, I have also been able to reframe the implications of trauma. It doesn’t mean that there is no hope. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is the abuser.