Continuing the series on foundations, we look at what it looks like to wait. I wanted to make sure and chat about this during the Advent Season as there are some lovely parallels between the two.

Confession time: I’ve spent so many years hiding girls. If I'm TOTALLY honest and vulnerable with you - I've gotten good at hiding my Faith and my work / life story. Two incredibly important things that deserve to take up a lot of space.

It wasn’t until year six in our recovery that I got to a point where I realized the risk of change was less than the risk of staying the same. I had a sweet baby boy, God’s gift to us and yet my heart was cold. I knew I didn’t want this to be my family’s legacy. So one night, lying in bed, I decided to choose to trust God again. To give Him my life.

Joseph's story clearly shows us that none of us are immune from life's hardships.  And in fact - it's the hardships that have the potential to refine us and purify us and make us even more like Him.

This is my hope for all of us - that we would remain faithful and continue to put our hope and our trust in Him.  God will show us the way.

I've thought of all the times when I choose hiding over showing up. When I lurk into the shadows instead of bravely walking into the light and saying - here I am - pain, hurt, ugliness and all.

It wasn't until the pain of change became easier to bear than the pain of staying the same that we got sick and tired of being sick and tired and said enough is enough and sought help.

Because when my marriage started to blow - I was convinced I was ruined. My heart would never repair. My soul was damaged for good. Heaven come quick.

So I'm closing with this - I'm begging you to show up by being you. If you are down, say it. If you feel hopeless - express it. If you feel angry - get it out. Let

In my opinion, this is the most acute, most insidious, most tragic damage done by sexual betrayal.

If you are interested in joining me on this journey of becoming a woman living life from a place of worthiness, I encourage you to do a couple of things...

So why, then, has it been so hard for me to live my life out of a place of worthiness? To live from a place of deep security and wholeness?

What reading Habakkuk is teaching me is that it's when we grapple and wrestle with our situations - it's through this that we have the potential to move closer to God.

I was afraid to be vulnerable. Afraid to disagree. Afraid of what Jason might think of me.

We don't have to forgive perfectly, grieve perfectly, or go through this process perfectly.

I tried not to excuse my behavior (I guess I haven't mastered that part of Robin's amazing apology recipe) but still did when I blurted out that I was in a bad mood.

And one of the greatest gifts you can give your wife is to make peace with that and work at becoming a safe person for her to continue to process with for the rest of your years.