That said - things are NOT equal post-betrayal. So to pretend like things are equal is just dismissing the level of pain she is experiencing. There is a divide in the relationship that must be repaired. And by embracing the 90/10 posture - reconciliation has an opportunity to flourish.

Safety is an experience. It’s a way of being. It’s feeling calm, connected, grounded. And THEN doing the recovery work from this place as much as possible. Is it perfect? Absolutely not. We will flow in and out. But staying in a place of safety is one of the foundational components to healing well.

Hasn't enough been stolen from her? Haven't so many of her choices and wishes been stripped from her? Let her decide. It's her story, too. (I feel like I need to make a t-shirt!)

I share this with you not for you to have pity on me. And certainly not so that you worry about us. We are better for it. But rather so that you see the importance of doing a thorough disclosure from the get go.

What I have learned is goodness, relief and calm does come. It's a process and while destruction happens overnight, healing takes longer. We learn to ride the wave.

As I step into the grief, I have to remind myself to go courageously and know that God will meet me with compassion and mercy. He is my hope.

What does growing WELL look like in difficult life situations or during our recovery process? What I have realized is - in order to thrive WELL - we must learn how to live in the present.

Bottom line: let’s do what we need to do to get comfortable in the bodies God gave us. This could mean air-conditioning and this could also mean positive self-talk or anything in between but it does NOT have to mean losing weight. The end.

Confession time: I’ve spent so many years hiding girls. If I'm TOTALLY honest and vulnerable with you - I've gotten good at hiding my Faith and my work / life story. Two incredibly important things that deserve to take up a lot of space.

It wasn’t until year six in our recovery that I got to a point where I realized the risk of change was less than the risk of staying the same. I had a sweet baby boy, God’s gift to us and yet my heart was cold. I knew I didn’t want this to be my family’s legacy. So one night, lying in bed, I decided to choose to trust God again. To give Him my life.