The Wait and a Question for each of you...

Last week, I wrote a post on what was breaking my heart.  It was a rant more than a rave.  I was on a roll (even though it pales in comparison to the anger letter I wrote earlier this year toward men that betray their wives. wowzers!).I think I just needed to get the aforementioned blog post off my chest because it's a theme with so many of the women that I'm supporting right now.Never do I want to come across as disrespectful or rude toward our husbands.  And at the same time, I do feel like I need to be true to what I see in the hearts of the women that I help.  It seemed to have resonated with many of you and I want you to know how much I appreciate your comments and your support for these wives.I know a lot of you read this blog, but don't necessarily respond.  I want to encourage you to do so.  This is a safe place.  Use an alias or leave the name blank if you'd feel more comfortable.  Know that your voice matters and when one speaks up, it gives another the courage to speak up.  Before we know it, we realize that we aren't alone!If only I could take each of you and let you sit down at my laptop.  If only I could show you what I see every day.  You'd know full well that you aren't alone in this fight.  There is an army of women rising up ready to battle.  Ready to do all they can to walk away with a soft heart and a restored marriage.  It's just none of us can change our husbands or predict the future.So we step back, we wait.  We do a lot of waiting.  Waiting takes intentionality.  We must choose daily, hourly to take that step back.  And the waiting is so. very. hard.  Especially when it's regarding something as precious as Our life.  Our marriage.  Our children.

But, dear sisters, God doesn't waste anything on us.

What I've come to realize is - there is much fruit that can come out of waiting.  I never see it initially.  Oftentimes, it's in hindsight that I really see the benefits.  It might look like increased trust in God, confidence, freedom.  No matter what, there is something for each of us in the wait.There is a verse that I love that always reassures me when it comes to waiting.  It's Psalm 121:3:  "He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber..."  I love knowing that God is always awake.  He is there working things out while I'm waiting - whether asleep or awake.  But waiting nonetheless.I'd like to share with you a couple of things to focus on during your wait:1)  Ask God to show you the truth.  This is serious stuff, ladies.  I started praying for Jason before I even knew disclosure was coming down the pipe.  I don't remember everything I was praying, but God was faithful and started laying out the breadcrumbs for me to find.  In addition, ask God to take off anything that might be blinding you to the truth.  It takes God-sized courage to get real.  To stop giving concessions.  To stop rationalizing.  Because when we live in denial - it's easy.  When we step into reality - the work becomes messy, painful, difficult.2)  Finding a safe place to share.  This happened for me via a face-to-face support group that I started over six years ago.  I now offer this type of groups to others.  Group has been vital to my process.  Whether you choose one through RL for Women or a different avenue is not the point.  The point is for each of you to have your girls.  Your safe place.  A place where you feel connected, empowered, loved.  A place where you learn more about yourself.  A place free of judgment and blame and shame.3)  Rediscovering or discovering something you love that warms you heart and soul.  Ladies - this is so important.  A creative outlet of some sort.  Or maybe ten creative outlets.  You never ever know what gifts might spill out of you when you are in your darkest time.  When you are in the thick of the wait.  For myself, it was the workbook Rescued that came to fruition as I was walking through a dark time last summer.  {I'll say it again - God doesn't waste anything on us. Not even the wait. Not even the darkest of times.  Isn't that the best news ever?}I'd love to hear what you have focused on while you wait.  Please share your thoughts.  In addition, remind yourself that the wait does come to an end.  At some point, you will start moving again.  And you'll have more clarity about which direction to go, you'll have support to push you to that end, you'll have greater confidence as you head off toward the sunset.

And don't stop reading - I have some quick questions for you pertaining to this blog:

What topics would you like for me to address?  What are you looking for here or elsewhere that you haven't found yet?  What are your burning questions?  Think about it and leave a comment.  I'd love to work through your questions and be able to have an honest dialogue with you.