Saying "no" so that we can say "yes"
Alright ladies, it's official - I now have 16 whole hours each week without my littles. {I can barely STAND it!!!}It's bittersweet, this is true, AND... I must say - this momma is really really happy about it.It really couldn't have come at a better time - I was at the tail END of my ever-lovin' rope last weekend. All I wanted and needed was a BREAK!!!!! I even started crying one night because I was so. tired. of being. a mom.With that said, I have a TON of items that I want for us to discuss here on the blog this Fall that I've just been storing up in my head all summer long. So many, that I'm going to have to organize my thoughts or else I'll be ALL over the place.Since we are all transitioning from summer to fall, for today, I thought I'd talk about a little project I'm working on. It's a very small project and one you might want to take on yourself as you reorganize your life after a summer of chaos.(Or was I the only one living in complete and total chaos this summer?!)Do not fear, ladies, this isn't a big project. In fact, it's quite the opposite and it was all inspired by this podcast.
It's called - a yes/no list.
In effect, it's me deciding what I'm going to say "yes" to and what I"m going to say "no" to. Because again, I only have these 16 hours of completely free time. So I want to maximize as much as possible. (To be clear, the yes/no list isn't just so I will maximize my alone time, it's really to fully live every day and make time for the things I really want and need to do.)Honestly, I consider this to be essential when it comes to self-care which is something I harp on a LOT in my groups. We are all incredibly busy and when we are in the thick of this process of restoration, whether we are separated, divorced, or remain married - self-care is CRITICAL.Along with that self-care, it's critical that we learn how to say "no". As a very sweet and sassy and oh-so-wise woman in one of my past groups would always say, "no, no, no, no, no...". She had it down!Just to give you a flavor of what is on my list - here are a couple of items in the "yes" category:
Exercising 4 times a week.
Reserving Friday mornings as a date morning with Jason (this is a new thing that we are starting this week - I'm just hoping and praying we can keep from fighting... why is it that we tend to fight when we go on dates?!).
Waking up early so that I can have a little quiet time before the boys start to rumble and roar.
But I can't do these things unless I say "no" to some other things. So here are some of the things on my "no" list:
Facebook (total time robber and makes me feel like the biggest loser after spending any amount of time on there).
Not working on the weekends.
Hustling with friends that aren't that interested in me (I realize that hustle has a very negative connotation and thus I find it fitting for the things we do that we don't need to do anymore!)
Limiting my email time to only 2-3 time blocks per week ('cause I think we could email forev and forev if we allowed ourselves to!).
I'd LURVE for you to join me in creating a yes/no list so that you have more time for the things you want {and need} to do and also so that you have clarity about the things it's really okay to say "no" to.It is SO hard to say no. And it's too early to tell if this yes/no list will help me say no with confidence. But I have to tell you, I already feel more empowered as I look over my list and continue to add to it as the days tick by.Would love for you to join me! And I'd also love to hear - is it hard for you to say "no" to the things that you really don't speak to your heart? If that's the case, know that boundaries might also be hard for you. That's a topic I want us to really dive into this fall, so stay tuned.xo - Shelley