On Sharing With Family and Friends (Part-2)

I'd like to pick up where we left off last time.Sharing with our family and our friends is definitely not something we should jump into or take lightly.  For Jason and I, we didn't feel like we could hide what was going on from my parents, even though I think we both would have liked to.  It's just the way it happened.  Or maybe it's just the way God insisted on it happening!As I think through this facet (choosing to share with famlly and friends) of my process, here are several tips and considerations to keep in mind:1)  Remember the importance of support for yourself.  If you are the only person on the planet that is privy to the details of your husband's sexual indiscretions, it's a load you don't have to bear alone.  Reach out.  Whether through a support group, a trusted friend, or a mentor.  Know this isn't something to carry alone.2)  Remember that this isn't just your story.  It's also your husband's story.  If your husband asks for privacy, so be it.  That doesn't mean that you can't tell anyone, as support is a must.  It just means your support network may not be expansive.3)  Remember that with anyone you choose to tell, you are surrendering control over their reaction.  It's impossible to predict how they will react.  You are also surrendering control over who they might choose to tell.  Even with the best intentions, these things find a way of leaking out.4)  Remember up front to ask for what you need.  If you are looking for a band of women to support you as you figure out next steps, say that.  If you are looking for people to pray for you, say that.  If you are asking that any negative or hurtful comments not be shared with you while you are still reeling, you can say that, too!5)  Remember that when you share your pain in the here and now with others, you are giving them a gift.  They are given the opportunity to minister to you, serve you, love you.  Let them do this.  And someday, you can return the favor.6)  Remember it's not going to be perfect.  You may tell someone you wished you hadn't.  You may wish you had told someone sooner.7)  Remember that it's okay to only share the basics with family.  Although I think that it's important that you are completely transparent with some of your friends, I suggest keeping the information basic and high-level with family.  The less details with family, the better.8)  Remember that when you keep your secrets quiet, because you want to protect your husband; this doesn't promote healing for either of you.  By dragging the truth into the light, us wives can't live in denial and our husbands, well, they can't live in denial either.  There is always freedom waiting for us on the other side of sharing our secrets.I'd love to hear from you.  What has your experience been when sharing with friends and family?  Has sharing helped?  Or has it hurt?  Photo Credit (top)