Finding Our Comfort- A Story Involving Banana Bread

I am thrilled yet again to have Tracy Binder, one of my coaches and group facilitators, share a piece on comfort! Comfort is what we are focusing both here and on Instagram this season. You can read Tracy’s bio here.

The Story of the Banana Bread

When you think of comfort, what comes to mind?

Most common answers include blankets or comfy clothing, food and warm drinks.

Well one of my favorite comforts fits right in: I love banana bread.

Give me a hot cup of coffee and a slice of warm banana bread and I am a happy girl. I am comfortable.

Earlier this year, my husband I decided to fast for 21 days. We chose to fast from caffeine and sugar. Well there goes my banana bread (and my coffee). I am now uncomfortable. (sad face emoji)

I was determined to find and execute a good banana bread without sugar in the recipe. I searched and searched for a great recipe and I landed on using dates as my "sweetener".

First try: FLOP. I used way too many dates and it came out soggy and undercooked and I threw it right in the trash.

Second try: FLOP. I kept the dates and changed the flour I used. I chose to use a combination of almond flour and regular flour. Awful. It did not even rise. It was gooey and wet and gross. I threw it in the trash.

I wanted my sugar back. It was so uncomfortable being without my banana bread and coffee.

Third try.

I used 7 dates and just one flour that I love and guess what: it turned out amazing! It rose and was soft and bouncy and so very yummy! (I did however miss the coffee with it.)

And get this: It was better than when I make it with real sugar. (I think we may actually just keep making it this way.)

Shifting Gears (haha, pun totally intended!)

One day while I was spinning on my bike, I was thinking about the banana bread situation and how it relates to betrayal.

You see, when we are betrayed it is like our whole life changes over night and we have to find a new way to “live.” When I say live I mean how to cope, how to relate to others, how to know ourselves, how to function, how to heal. A new way to be comfortable with our new story. The list goes on and on. It really feels like our life will never be what it was before.

And I remember resisting this.

I wanted my life back. I wanted to feel “normal” when I look at people, especially other women. I wanted to feel happy again. I wanted to undo what I knew. I wanted to be comfortable.

I wanted my “sugar” back.

Can you relate?

I am here to tell you that this is normal. (Great thanks, Tracy! Am i going to be uncomfortable forever?) No you will not.

I am also here to encourage you that on the other side of this active process (that truly never ends) your life can be more comfortable - better - than you ever imagined, regardless of if your husband decides to do the work or not.

Just like my banana bread.

Comfort from the Source of All Comfort

In fact, God promises us this many times throughout the Bible. Here are some of my favorite verses I leaned on to find comfort, from Him:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Prov 3:5-6

- God promises if we trust Him with ALL (this is the hard part) our ways He will make our paths straight, bumpy at times, but straight toward Him in a blessed life that He created just for you.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deut 31:6

- You will never be alone. Really, you will never be alone. You may feel completely devastated and have nowhere to turn, but he has not left you. He will also not leave you emotionally (forsake). For women like us who have been betrayed (physically and emotionally) knowing that He will not betray us is powerful. This power can empower us to know ourselves better and know Him better.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom 8:28

- Truly God takes our biggest messes and hurts and uses it for His purpose in His timing (not ours). We just have to surrender it ALL to Him. The timing part is hard. We want all the pain and hurt to go away yesterday, but He promises if we surrender all to Him that He will use it for good.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:7

- I needed this promise so very badly because I did not have peace for a couple of years. God's peace is unexplainable. He promises to guard our hearts from which everything flows. And our minds which can be influenced by enemy fire. So when we trust him completely, He gives us His peace, which is way better than any peace I had before.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Eph 4:32

- When God prompted me to start moving toward forgiveness I landed here a lot. Forgiveness is supernatural, I believe as humans we are unable to do it on our own. With the help of a great group of ladies and God I was able to extend this undeserved gift to my husband. I had to get to a place where I realized I did not deserve forgiveness from God for my sins too, but he came after me anyway.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Cor 10:5

- As we keep moving forward in our process we must learn to take each thought captive, like a prisoner and put in jail. I had to stop rehearsing and replaying all the acting out, the hurtful days, the painful words. As I healed, God allowed me to capture these and give them to him. This moved me toward forgiveness. (which is a process in itself, be patient with yourselves here girls.)

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isa 43:19

- I love this one! God is moving. He is doing a new thing in you. If you allow Him, he will change you from the inside out. And He is doing this new thing in a place where no one has ever been and where water doesn't normally flow. What this means is: He can do anything!

Find your list of God’s promises for you where you are RIGHT NOW. Allow these to comfort you on your hardest days. Put them everywhere you can think of, your phone, your pocket, your bathroom mirror.

In addition, brainstorm and start to implement into your self care routine doing more of the things that comfort you. But keep in mind that some of our comforts that we have used in the past might not work anymore.

My husband and I had to get rid of the sugar and try something else. And you know what, God’s promises are true. He will take the pain and the discomfort and make us better because of it. The “sugar” was not that good after all. :)

Would love to hear from you - what do you do and what verses do you dwell on to comfort yourself?

Shine On,

Tracy