The Art of Detachment - Part 3 + a Video
I decided it would be easier to shoot a quick video for this final blog post on detachment. Who really knows. You can click on the video below - but just some cliff notes to go along with the video:
Detaching from ourselves when we are in emotional pain is a strategy that each of us needs to have in our tool chest. It's not something you want to use long-term, but there are times when it's important to utilize it in order to get through the day, the week, the month. Just know there is a balance here.
I try to be fairly transparent here and have mentioned this in my monthly letter - my anxiety went through the roof once the kids started on-line school again in August. There were several weeks in a row where I was fighting to get through - like legit clawing my way out. The strategies I mention in the video, I was using on the daily.
#1 - Grounding / Comfort / Self-Care:
I want you to identify 2-3 things that you can do when you are experiencing emotional pain in order to comfort yourself. Have a plan! For me - I love loose fitting clothing, hot showers, deep breathing, blankets, a fire in the fireplace. The list goes on and on. What is it for you?
In addition, getting yourself grounded is important - it pulls you out of the past and out of the future and into the present.
#2 - Noting:
This is a technique you can use when you are experiencing emotional pain and especially if your mind starts to loop and keep thinking about what you are anxious about - over and over and over again. What you can do is note what you are experiencing. Even saying - I see you, I hear you (you = the anxious thought) and then letting it drift away on a cloud in the sky that is slowly moving past.
#3 - Putting it in a Vault:
There will be times when we can. not. deal. Maybe because we are in the check out line at the grocery store or maybe because we are mentally exhausted. It's so okay to give yourself permission to put ‘er in the vault and set a time for when you are going to open up the vault and work through the pain. I would suggest doing this within the next 12 hours or so, just so it doesn't build up. I love to take out my journal, and just identify what I am feeling and where the feelings are coming from. No judgment, all compassion toward myself. I listened to this podcast this week and loved the process she shared about working through what was weighing on her mind.
I hope this helps! As always, I would SO love to hear from you - just leave a comment below and I will be sure to respond.
xo - Shelley