Lament - To express grief for or about; to mourn.

I have the privilege of coming together with 2 different groups of women every other Wednesday evening.  We are all on a different phase of a different yet similar journey.  Our common bond is being married to a man whom chose to be intimate with others and not with us.I’ve forgotten how palpable the pain and weight is while everyone shares their stories and we all re-live our reality over and over again.  It is enough for some to want to run.  Raw.  Real.  Risky.I think back to those first 6-12 months after Jason disclosed the ugly truth.   I was a complete basket-case.   A wreck.  A complete disaster.  I didn’t know “how” to grieve.  And I remember our counselor telling me I needed to, that it was vital to my healing.  But it was so difficult.  I believe I did some of it right…I’m a different person now!  My heart is more whole than it has ever been. With God’s help (ok, completely God) I was able to forgive.  I’m not bitter anymore towards Jason for what he did.  Praise God!  So, I humbly offer the different ways I mourned:

•  I lamented to God.  While running.  While driving.  In the still of the night.

Psalms 56:8 “You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.”

 God hears our cry!  And He hasn’t missed a single tear that we have shed!

•  I lamented to Jason.  I remember initially putting effort into showing him how hurt I was.  It was difficult.  He hurt me, so my instinct was to cut him off and not let him see me so weak and vulnerable.  But, what I didn’t realize was me letting him in and allowing him to see my pain, laid the frame work for us to discover true emotional intimacy.

•  I lamented to a safe group of girls.  I wanted so badly to walk along side others going through the same thing, and preferably someone that was a little wiser or little further along.  And God gave me that through a dear friend named Shannon.  I realized all my emotions were normal and I didn’t feel isolated and alone.

•  Last, I lamented to/with the radio.  I had a job where I drove close to 100 miles a day.  I listened to New Life Live and grieved with the callers.  I also listened to amazing music by musicians whom were lamenting in their songs.

So whether its been 3 weeks or 3 years or even longer since your life changed forever, when you were let in to your husband’s secret life; its never too late to lament.  And allow God to begin the good work in you.

 Philippians 1:6  “There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.”