How can God be enough?
I’d like to say this will be the last post on my laments about letting go of one of the hardest things I’ve ever been asked to let go of…my career. I’ll try to have some self-control at least for a little while!I wish I could say that I’ve made the right decision and everyday I wake up and am so confident in what God has called me into. But, it simply hasn’t been the case. I’ve had some really ugly moments over the last couple of weeks. Feeling sorry for myself, selfish, insecure, wanting my “old life” back. My career was my security blanket and now I’m asking….how do I cover myself with God in all that I do…and not falsely cover myself with my career? My husband, Jason has witnessed these ugly moments (ok, days) and earlier this week he told me he was praying for me and he equated me to the Israelites leaving Egypt.
Exodus 16:2-3 “In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.”
Wandering. Questioning. Thinking their life was better in Egypt. I didn’t like what Jason was saying, but in humility, I say, I think he is on to something. Its like I have spiritual amnesia and I forget so quickly God’s call and His plan. And I start grumbling and complaining. And wondering why I don’t know what is ahead of me. Why hasn’t the future become more clear? In reality, it’s foggy! And I think back to the Israelites and it occurs to me, they didn’t know where they were going either!
Exodus 13:21-22 “By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people.”
This is so poignant for me. The girl whom said not that long ago she wasn’t so sure the Bible applied to her! Today, I bow my head in humility and praise God that He speaks to me through His Living Word. And He is ready to speak to you, too!