Free-Fall

Hi Ladies!Well, here we are.  2017.  Can't believe it.I'm sitting here this morning in a quiet house.  It's the first day of school post-winter-break here in Denver.  My boys have so much energy that to be here in the quiet where all I hear is the fridge and heater kicking on and off is just plain odd.I have to say - I forget every year how sweet that week between Christmas and New Years is.  It just feels like the world slows down, we can all catch our breath, learn to breathe a little easier, and forget what day of the week it is.  Does anyone else just love that week like me?Enough rambling from me.  Let's get down to business.  What I really wanted to share was where my heart is at this morning:Do you ever feel like God is asking you to jump off a cliff into the unknown?  To trust Him even when in a lot of ways it doesn't make sense?  Maybe you are pacing back and forth right now at the edge of the cliff.  You know in your heart God's asking you to jump yet in your mind, it really can't be possible, can it?As I sit here and reflect, I feel like much more often or at least initially, God asks us to jump off of a chair.  Thank goodness for that!  We can see the ground.  We might feel a flicker of fear but only for a moment and before we know it, we are on solid ground.  And when we land, we realize that standing on the ground is so much more comfortable than standing on the chair.  Maybe this is a faith building practice of sorts for when we face the cliff.Because those times come for all of us - when He asks us to jump.  Not off the chair but off the cliff.  These moments are (thank goodness) few and far between.  I can think of a couple off the top of my head.  When I chose to forgive Jason, for instance.  That was definitely a cliff dive.  I did NOT see the ground and I fell freely into the unknown.  I made a choice and although it didn't make sense in my head, it made sense in my heart and I took that leap of faith and trusted God.It also happened almost five years ago when I finally said "no" to physical therapy because I knew God was asking me to say "yes" to helping women with a similar story to mine.  Once again, I did NOT want to jump.  I am a big fan of stability and security.  So many unknowns taking that jump.  And besides, I LURVED my career and I worked hard to get to where I was.  But I jumped.  And it was such a good choice.  In fact, I wish I hadn't waited so long to make it.  God was oh-so-patient with me.I've found myself at the edge of the cliff, once again, as of late.  And I gotta say, it hasn't gotten any easier for me.  I like the jumping from a chair much more than jumping from a cliff.  The decision to jump is always painful.  But the free-fall after the jump - well, in a lot of ways it's even harder for me.  The decision has been made, the "no" is out there.  And yet, I don't have total clarity in what God has asked me to do because I haven't landed yet.  My feet are not on solid ground.  I can't look back with that 20/20 hindsight and say - "ah!  This is why!"So where is my heart today?

It's thick in the wait.  I'm in the free-fall and I haven't landed yet.  It's vulnerable here and I'm not going to lie - I don't like it.

I know this is where faith is built.  I know this is where I choose hope.  Good things will come.  But for now, I'd rather have comfort.So I'm buckling up once again.  Clinging to God.  Clinging to others.  Clinging to loving myself well as I fall.Believing, hoping, trusting that my feet will hit the ground in the days, weeks or even months to come.xoxo-Shelley