Connecting with Yourself - A Simple Exercise for you to try

I met with my go-to girls on Thursday evening.  I didn't take much time to prepare before our meeting.  That right there was a sign that something was awry.  As a part of my check-in, I mentioned that I wasn't feeling connected to Jason.  And given he was out of town speaking at Every Man's Battle, I didn't feel much hope to connect with him anytime soon.  Sigh.It wasn't until after we said good-bye that I started to realize something I've recognized before.  The reason I wasn't feeling connected with Jason was in part due to the fact that I wasn't connected to myself.  So I decided I needed to take some time over the weekend to do just that.  Connect with myself.  Because a lot of times, when I feel a disconnect with Jason - it's because I'm not doing my part.  I'm not working on self-intimacy.  Could it be that in order to be fully known in our relationship with our husband, we must first be fully known (as best as we know how) with ourselves?  I'm thinking the answer, oftentimes, is "yes".So I did a little exercise that I've been doing lately.  It's super simple (for the most part).  And it works.  So I thought I'd pass it along to you.

A Super Simple Exercise to Connect With Yourself

Step one:  The hardest part of this exercise is finding the time and the space to be quiet.  Oftentimes, this happens for me once my littles are asleep for the night.  So on Saturday evening, I sat down with my journal and a couple of homemade chocolate chip cookies and ice cold milk (not a required part of the exercise but definitely encouraged) and started the simple process.Step two:  I started writing down any and all feelings that were surfacing.  After writing down each feeling, I journaled a bit about exactly why I was feeling this way.  I always underline the feeling as well so that it pops on the page and start a new paragraph with each new feeling.I continue to write as many feelings as I can that come to mind (along with the why behind them).  I usually start with more negative feelings it seems, so I also try to tap into any positive feelings I might be feeling as well.On Saturday evening, I came up with 11 different feelings that were hiding within.  Here are the 11 feelings:  sad, frustrated, bored, disconnected, disappointed, successful, thankful, hesitant, satisfied, relieved, uneasy... all in that order!If you find you are having trouble identifying how you are feeling, I highly recommend you use the feelings wheel by Dr. Gloria Wilcox.  There is an explanation on how to use it here.Step three:  After working through as many feelings as I can think of - I typically feel more clear headed.  I like to go back and just take a quick view at all the words again that I am feeling.  I allow myself to embrace all the feelings.  To acknowledge that they are there and acceptable feelings to feel.

And that's it.  Super simple.

I encourage you to try this the next time you start to feel like you are disconnected from yourself or those close to you.  Remember, it isn't a way to change how you feel but rather to embrace the feelings within.xo-Shelley