On Foundations: Connecting with God, Self, & Others
Hi Friends! We are continuing with our series on foundations with reflections from Tracy on connecting with God, self and others. A foundational part of the recovery process. Enjoy reading her thoughts below.
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The Bible talks about being vulnerable and connecting a lot.
Jesus says in Matthew 22 -
‘“Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.” This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: “Love others as well as you love yourself”’. (Matt 22:37-40, MSG)
From Latin, vulnerable means "to wound". Webster defines vulnerability as 1 : capable of being physically or emotionally wounded. 2 : open to attack or damage. In a 2010 TED Talk on vulnerability, researcher and speaker Brené Brown explained how being vulnerable also means accepting all of your emotions. That means not shaming yourself for the ugly ones. That hits me in the heart.
From Latin, connect means "to bind or unite". Webster defines connecting as "forming a relationship or affinity with". At many times in our process we have to choose to be vulnerable and connect with God, ourselves and others. Why?
C.S. Lewis once wrote:
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
So we must love God, others and ourselves by being vulnerable and connecting with our actions, words and emotions. If we choose not to be vulnerable and connect then we can not be transformed by God. We don't allow him to mold us.
It will probably feel uncomfortable and you may even squirm in your chair a bit. But God’s promises are true. He will meet you there. He will never leave you. He will transform you. He will heal you. He started this work in you and he will bring His masterpiece, YOU, to completion.
So ladies what does being vulnerable and connecting look like?
Here are examples from my process:
God (‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’)
• Reading a chapter of Nehemiah a day (this one is great because its all about restoration and boundaries).
• Getting up early before the kids get up and being still and quiet.
• Listening to a sermon every Monday and allowing the Word to wash over me.
• Joining a small group and diving deeper into Gods Word.
• I made an awesome playlist that I would blast while running or whenever I needed it.
Others (‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’)
• When a trigger hits me like a truck, I choose to go to my husband (if he is safe) and/or my group and share what is happening, the messy emotions and the fear hurricane in me.
• Joining a support group and telling my story to strangers, but women who know how I feel because its their story too.
• Reading my anger letter in order to get it all out and make room for the Holy Spirit, to these ladies who I would call sisters now.
Yourself (‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’)
• Asking my husband to not come home until he finds empathy for my emotions/ pain (self-intimacy - my needs and boundaries).
• Allowing my tears to flow and flow and flow. God created tears to heal. (grieving)
• Creating a One-Day Self-Care Challenge, here is an example.
• Saying no to taking on another patient and eventually leaving my job because I needed space for my recovery process.
A great friend once told me that we are robbing God of his Glory if we choose not to be vulnerable and connect with Him, ourselves and others. As we choose to be vulnerable and connect God delights and brings healing in supernatural ways we can not even understand.
So I charge all of you. Find your time with Our Almighty God. Join a group and tell your story, mess and all. And love yourself like you never have before. “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion!”
Shine On,
Tracy