Wounds without Hope
I had the opportunity to share a little bit of my story with the women that attended Women In the Battle, a conference for wives dealing with a sexual betrayal. It is put on by New Life Ministries. You can find out more about them here.Conferences can be especially exciting as I count on God showing up and revealing things to me, no matter where I’m at on the journey. This one was no different.One of the themes while I was talking was about my hand being closed, at certain times, to God and his provision and blessings in my life. Telling God that my problems are too big for Him and I’ll take care of them myself. What a Lie.Time and time again, God has shown me that just by opening my hands wide to His power, His provision, His grace… you could call it steps towards trust….that this is where the healing begins. And I realize that this is the only path towards true health and wholeness. Truth.Ironically, I sat there this weekend, thinking of a particular memory, and saying once again: God, this is too big for you. You can’t heal this. I’ll take care of it myself. (And by taking care of it, I mean, I’ll just keep shoving it back into the dark recesses of my mind until I am forced to think of it again.)So hard to admit: It’s the memory of my wedding day. The VHS tape. The pictures. It was such a sweet day. But it was a fraud, a lie. And I don’t see any hope in true healing for that particular day in my mind.So I’ve mentioned it to Jason. We need to look into that wound and work on healing it. I don’t know what it will take or what it will look like. But I DO know that I’m opening my hands wide to allowing God to redeem even that day of my life. I don’t know how, I don’t know when. But I’m trusting. And I’ll keep you posted as things progress towards healing this particular wound.
Philippians 1:6 “…being confident in this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
What about you? Are there any memories or wounds in your life that you believe there is no hope for? For healing? For redemption? If so, would you share them with me? Together, we can pray for our hearts to be open to trusting Him, even with the wounds that we have no hope for, and allowing Him to begin a good work in us.