The Wilderness

I finished reading the Pentateuch earlier this week.  It took me a long time.  As in six months.  I find the following ironic:  the reading takes place after the Israelites have left Egypt and before they enter the promised land.  They are in the wilderness.  And in some respects, that’s what the reading felt like…the wilderness, dry.But there were many nuggets of truth along the way.  More than I would have ever expected.  And for that I am thankful.Just a couple of weeks ago, I was feeling frustrated.  As if I have these gifts but they aren’t being used.  Gosh, I know that could come across as prideful.  And maybe there is a splash of pride in there.  But there is also a true bleeding in my heart to love like Jesus and chase whole-heartedly after His plan, not mine.And the next morning, I pick up where I left off the day before.  And as I’m reading, I begin to almost lose my breath.  My pulse quickens.  And I know that what I am reading is just for me to hear.  It’s God speaking to me.  And this is what He says:

“Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.  He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that people do not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.  Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years.  Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you.”  Deuteronomy 8:2-5

He leads me.  He humbles me.  He tests me.  He causes me to hunger.  He takes care of me (my clothes didn’t wear out and my feet didn’t swell).  He is disciplining me.  All this to say, I’m still in the wilderness with this new calling.And I start to wonder:  when I look at all the facets of my life (spiritual, emotional, relational, physical, etc.), are there any areas where I am in the promised land?  And is one preferred over the other?Could it be that there are actually more blessings in the wilderness?  Could this be where God does some of His best work in us?So I ponder all of this.  And I realize that indeed, the wilderness has the potential to be the most powerful place for us.  The place where God does His good work.  All we have to do is turn, open our hands wide, and trust Him.  It’s a difficult choice.So, I finish the last chapter in the last book of Moses.  And there was a real sadness in my heart.  That they’d come to the end of the wilderness.  And the end of Moses’ life.  And it begs the question:  when I leave the wilderness, will I be sad?  Could it be that this is the better place to be?  The only place to be?What about you?  Are you in the wilderness right now?  Or the promised land?  Do you believe that one place is preferred over the other?  Could it be that the wilderness is the better of the two?