How I'm choosing to parent differently because I'm married to a man that used to look at porn

I don’t want to be different! I want to fit in, be part of the crowd! No, this is not your child talking. It’s me – hitting my fists against a pillow. Resisting, screaming, begging to be normal. So many questions surface: Will I be accepted? Loved? Chosen amidst the difference?You see, we have a story of broken love.In a nutshell, my husband chose porn and affairs over me.Looking back, there were things that predisposed him to these choices. His sexuality was awakened at a young age when he was exposed to pornography. He was lonely and disconnected emotionally from those he loved – so much so that he thought he was a mistake. He started to use his sexuality in order to cope with the negative feelings of life – all in secret and in shame.By the time we were married, he was living a double life. A life where he appeared to only have eyes for me; but when I wasn’t around, he acted out sexually with other women both online and in the flesh.It’s been 13 long years of recovery and today our love is mended. Sure, there are scars, but God has given us a second chance on life, on marriage. God has blessed us with three young boys that we desperately don’t want to set up for failure when it comes to sexual integrity.So when it comes to parenting, we are trying to do life differently. (And I’m kicking and screaming half the time!) Because honestly, sometimes I feel like it’s the kind of different that isn’t even cool. It’s the kind of different that offends others and makes other moms roll their eyes and smile cruelly. I’m going to be really brave here and share a bit about what we are doing different in raising our boys to give them the best shot at a life with sexual integrity. Deep breath …

{Head over here, to the MOPs blog, where this post was initially published, to continue reading.}

And don’t forget to come back here if you’d like to leave a comment.xo-Shelley