God in the Detail
About six weeks ago, I realized that I had distanced myself from God. It was the perfect storm. We’d just had a baby and I was living moment to moment. My time with Him was few and far between as I walked around sleep deprived and dazed. In addition, our birth with Norman didn’t exactly go as planned and we ended up transferring him from the birthing center where he was born to the hospital NICU just next door for a couple of days.God knew we have terrible insurance. God knew my hearts desire to bring him home so the five of us could be together as a family the day of. God knew I’m a mess when my babies aren’t well. Why God?So I realized I needed to be honest with Him. Tell Him all of this. And start chipping away at the coldness starting to take hold in my heart.And slowly, my heart is softening. I still don’t have the answer, but I’m resting better.And I’m beginning to see again His hand in my day-to-day. (Because when my heart is distant, I don’t see it at all.) It doesn’t have to be profound, does it. And typically what is so special to me may not be special to anyone else. But just knowing that our loving God is right here does something so deep within my soul. Quenches a thirst I didn’t even know existed.So here’s what God showed me this week:Truman’s in Kindergarten. Big deal for him. Big deal for us. His first field trip was this week. First field trip ever people. We’re talking a yellow school bus, a trip 45 miles away to rural Colorado to visit a pumpkin patch, and no mom or dad. That’s a lot of yellow school bus on the highway!
I had considered taking him out of school that day. Just for a moment. And then I told myself he would be fine without me. Let him go.So the morning of, I was running. Well before the sun lifted. And I was praying that God would keep him safe. And I let it go somewhere between Flora Place and Floyd St.The day moved on and at some point mid-morning, I received a text and several pictures from another mom from Tru’s class. She was on the field trip and Truman was in her group!Seriously, y’all, I started tearing up! He was having fun! He was safe! He was with someone I knew and felt comfortable with!And it touched me deep. God had this. Because it’s true: I have spiritual amnesia. And I forget. Which makes it even more important for me to keep track so I can remember his unfailing love and protection in my day-to-day.Remember this: what's a big deal to you is also a big deal to God. He cares. And He cares even about the smallest of details.