Welcome, 2015!

Wednesday, December 31st, 2014

As I reflect this evening on this past year and as I look with anticipation to the year to come; I realize I’m ready for 2014 to slide out the door.  I’d say overall it’s been a more difficult year for me (maybe I’ll be brave enough to share some of it with you soon); yet I also have seen God hold me close and use me even when I am weak.


In fact, as I sit here and process the last year – it seems there have been many a blessings.  For instance, I was able to start facilitating groups again through RL for women and currently hold 31 ladies close to my heart.  We get on the phone every couple of weeks and laugh and cry and fill each other up.

Jason released his first book.  Holy cow, what an honor and privilege for him (and us) to share our story and the tools we’ve used along the way in rebuilding trust in a completely broken marriage.  I told my little brother over Christmas that I am more in love with Jason than I have ever been.  We’ve come so far.  And I know that God has given us the greatest blessing ever – a redeemed marriage.


We love where we live.  Denver is our home and this year, we felt even more connected here.

Baby Norman isn’t nursing anymore and he sleeps through the night.  What a treat for me!

My parents came running this summer when I wasn’t doing well and loved on our boys four different times while I flew away with Jason and allowed myself to rest (did I mention Jason was working while I was sleeping in and reading good books?).

The list goes on and on…

I want to encourage each of you to take the time and think through this past year.  Chances are, if you are a regular to this blog, 2014 probably wasn’t one of your best years.  But for as painful as 2014 might have been for you, can you also see God’s love?  His provision?  His blessings?

As you start to look at 2015, is there anything you want to do different?  I’m a huge fan of thinking through goals and intentionals for the new year.  (You’ll hear more about this later.) But for now, I want to leave you with this:  If you are reading this and you don’t have support.  If you haven’t told anyone about your husband’s porn problem or one-night stand; would you consider 2015 being the year you ask for help?

I waited nine long months before I cried for help and was ready to face the truth and demand the truth from Jason.  I have a good friend that told me recently she went seven years and only shared with one other woman about her husband’s porn addiction.  Most of us wait.  And the problem doesn’t go away on its own.

Know that in 2015, I’d love to help you.  I have a couple of women that are ready to facilitate groups (more about that later).  I will have spots open in my groups sooner or later.  And if you decide a group isn’t for you, I’d still love to support you.  Take the next step.  Reach out.  I’m here to help.

Wishing you all the best in 2015,


4 thoughts on “Welcome, 2015!

  1. Michelle

    January 3, 2015  |  03:39 pm

    This is how I am approaching this new year: today feels no different than yesterday, but hope isn’t dependent on a number – just a Savior!

    • rlforwomen

      January 5, 2015  |  09:42 pm

      HI Michelle! So great to hear your perspective on 2015. Thanks for sharing! xo-Shelley

  2. Stacey Alyk

    January 5, 2015  |  07:03 pm

    I NEED HELP! My husband needs help. WE need help! I don’t know where to turn, or what to do! I have friends, family, but they don’t know how to help, they haven’t been through this. I HAVEN’T been through this! I am a strong person and I know how to fix things.. just ask! But this… this… I don’t know what to do, I CAN’T fix this, and I’m lost! I’m on my knees again… crying out to God and there don’t seem to be answers. I don’t hear God talking to me, and so far, neither is my husband. I’m CRAVING “full disclosure” from him, and he just can’t, or won’t give it. How long do I wait?

    • rlforwomen

      January 5, 2015  |  09:55 pm

      Stacey, Thanks for reaching out. I know it’s scary to start writing, it makes it all the more real. You are a brave woman for reaching out and for admitting that you need help! Where exactly do you live? (and feel free to email me directly if you’d prefer). I’d love to point you in the right direction and your location will help me know where to point you. It’s difficult for me to answer your question without knowing more of your back story. Why won’t your husband give you a full disclosure? What is his reasoning? If he chooses not to give you a full-disclosure and this is what you’ve asked for (and I am all about a full disclosure, too), then it’s time to do what you need to feel safe until he will. So possibly not so much waiting but rather starting to set boundaries to protect yourself. I’d love to continue this dialogue with you. Let me know your thoughts and we’ll go from there. xo-Shelley

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