Trigger Threshold Video

Thursday, April 30th, 2020

Hi Girls –

About two weeks ago – I stole away to the RL office for a couple of hours to write a blog post and ended up shooting this quick video after I realized I wasn’t able to make an infographic that made any sense.

The video goes along with this blog post – specifically where I talk about triggers and having an awareness of our trigger threshold and essentially how when we are stressed – our threshold for getting triggered is lower.  Lower sounds misleading.  Having a lower threshold for being triggered actually means we will feel the trigger more.

Be aware that when we are more stressed, our propensity for being triggered increases.  In addition, when the threshold is lower, the trigger is going to feel stronger.  This awareness can help us be more gentle with ourselves and put safeguards in place while we navigate stressful times.

Let me know what you think and here to answer any questions you might have.  Just leave a comment below.  I read them all and for the most part respond to all the comments.

xo – Shelley


9 thoughts on “Trigger Threshold Video

  1. Maggie Fahl

    April 30, 2020  |  12:20 pm

    Thanks Shelley! You explained that really well! It helped me make the connection to why they have become soo intense! Ptsd + trigger = incapacitation for sure! Im working on being gentle with myself, it very hard.

    • Shelley Martinkus

      April 30, 2020  |  09:09 pm

      So hard to be gentle. I am with you, Maggie. Especially right now. Maybe I will write in the next blog post strategies we can use to be more gentel with ourselves. Would love to hear others ideas on this topic as well. Thanks for responding, Maggie. I love hearing your voice here. xo – Shelley

  2. Bonnie Dittes

    April 30, 2020  |  01:52 pm

    I’m realizing that my husband is a 911 person when it comes to spending time with God, working on his sex addiction and intamacy anerexia issues. I feel unsafe because he mainly works on these issues when something happens instead of being mindful on a regular basis. It enhances my distrust in his sincerity to change or better himself.

    • Shelley Martinkus

      April 30, 2020  |  09:07 pm

      I’ve never heard of a “911” person but this is a great descriptor. Absolutely it would increase the distrust if you are only seeing him be mindful when something comes up. So frustrating. Thanks for sharing Bonnie. xo – Shelley

  3. SGC

    April 30, 2020  |  05:35 pm

    Thank you Shelley, the visual made it easy to see how stress can magnify a trigger. It certainly helps me to be aware of my stressors and act proactively to stay in my window!

    • Shelley Martinkus

      April 30, 2020  |  09:06 pm

      Ah yes – you pretty much summed it up in two sentences! Love it!!! xo – Shelley

  4. Anna Wiens

    May 2, 2020  |  01:05 pm

    Thank you for this, Shelley! It is helping me come to the realization that with the current trigger I am experiencing this was at play – as one stressor added to my experience of another – and even in how I am processing them now. We are 6 years into recovery. He has been sexually sober, but our relationship has limped on as he has struggled to restore safety and trust between us – complex and challenging stuff… however, this has left a wake of pain over these years of recovery and there is a full memory bank of hurt with how he has handled things. As the years go on and I see less and less hope for change I get a sinking hopeless feeling. Now, when we experience a triggering situation, I dump that whole history of mishandled situations and unresolved hurts onto the current trigger, which, you guessed it, adds to my baseline stress… it’s almost funny. I’ve been feeling drained and incapacitated by the weight of this, for sure… but I am beginning to think that I need to put my thoughts about our future together on hold so that I can reduce the stress I’m experiencing and get back to some semblance of calm. I’m thankful that I can turn this over to the Lord to hold for me while I regain some grounding. Thanks again, Shelley. I appreciate you.

    • Shelley Martinkus

      May 11, 2020  |  07:28 pm

      I love what you are saying Anna! YES – self care right here putting the thoughts on hold in order to get to a place of calm. I think it’s also super important to delineate between a trigger and your husband doing something in the present that has hurt the trust. I can’t tell from your comment which is the case (when you mentioned dumping the whole history of mishandled situations and unresolved hurts on the current trigger). It sounds to me from what you have said, though, that he hasn’t done the work of rebuilding the trust so when the triggers do come – it sweeps you away like a tidal wave.

      So here’s to stepping back (detachment!) and getting grounded. Peace and Clarity are coming your way! xo – Shelley

  5. Maggie Fahl

    May 11, 2020  |  06:50 pm

    Anna, your experience sounds very similar to ours. Thank you for sharing. Its soo helpful to know im not alone! It breaks my heart that any of us are experiencing any of this but at the same time im so greatful for you all.

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