The Long Answer, Part 2

Wednesday, July 4th, 2012

Yesterday, I started to explain the long answer to a short question.  You can read about it here.  Today, I’ll pick up where I left off…

This is where it gets difficult.  I have a hard time explaining exactly what happened three years ago.  Maybe because its supernatural and truly inexplicable.  It’s God.  He was there the entire time, waiting for me to roll over.  Always patient.  And waiting.

And God was moving.  He went before me.

Deuteronomy 1:29-33  “Then I said to you, “Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them.  The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the wilderness….”

God gave me a beautiful group of women to lead and support.  I learned how to be emotionally intimate with them.  And it was messy for me.  I started to face my fears.  And decided life was too short and I didn’t want any regrets.  So I started sharing my story, in front of more than five people.

My hands were starting to open up and accept the blessings God had in store for me.  And I started to feel God’s gentle nudge that there was something even more for me.  To follow Him.  To completely surrender.  To live boldly.

All of this immensely impacted my relationship with Jason.  I started to acknowledge my mistakes, my failures.  I started to work on myself.  I still am.

Our relationship is real.  It’s safe.  We have unconditional love for each other.  The slate is clean between he and I.  We’re in it for the long haul.  There is nobody on the planet I’d rather be with.  It’s better than I ever thought it could be.  If I had to do it over, I’d choose him.

But don’t be fooled.  We’re still on the journey.  There are still twists and turns up ahead.  In fact, over the last month, we’ve been turning.  It can be ugly work.  But necessary.  And it takes us to the next level.  And for that, I will always be thankful.

Psalms 37:3-7  “Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.  Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:  He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.  Be still before the Lord and wait patiently on him.”

 

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