Okay, here's the deal girls - this journey - this recovery - it's a marathon not a sprint.  Sure, for some women, the process goes much quicker than others.  I don't know exactly why that's the case except maybe some of us (ahem, that'd be me) have a history of dragging our feet kinda like Jonah did when God asked him to go speak to the Ninevites.  {Oh my goodness, God has had to be SO patient with me!!!}Anywho, lately, it's been on my heart to write here about what it can look like to take a break.  Because coming up for a breath of air ever so often is a really good thing.  In fact, I think it's really good self-care to take such breaks.  And at the same time, be REALLY cautious because you don't want your little break to turn into a year long break (or three years which was the case for me!).Below are four different ways to look at taking a break -Permission to take a break throughout the day:  For those of us that work, parent or need to be "on" in their day to day, it's okay to tell yourself you are going to put recovery on the back burner and pick it back up after say the work day is over.  I know for myself, working as a physical therapist helped get me through the day some 13 years ago.  But it was important for me to pick it back up starting on my commute home.  This was usually followed by Jason and staying up well past midnight talking, crying, processing.Permission to take a break for an evening of fun:  Especially once you are months into recovery, you might find that you need to put recovery on hold and just go enjoy yourself for a bit.  Options include going with a group of girls to your favorite restaurant or out for drinks.  If your husband is pursuing recovery, you might feel safe enough to do this break with him.  Simply agree that for the next three hours, recovery is going to go to the back burner while you guys enjoy an evening together going to dinner or sharing in a hobby you both find enjoyable.  Again, after the set period of time expires, it's okay to pick up where you left off and process a little more.If you choose to do this sort of break with your husband - beware - it takes an extra dose of courage.  I know for myself, I had to dip my toes into the pool of "trusting Jason" to even go out to dinner with him and enjoy his presence.Permission to take a break from recovery:  There will also be times when recovery as a whole is put on the back burner.  It might be that you feel you are getting no where.  It might be that you feel you need to simply sit and wait (which, by the way, waiting is so. NOT. simple.)  Just be aware of when you feel God asking you to start moving again.  For myself, I KNEW I had work to do but I resisted for years.  Three of them.  My heart started to turn into a cold stone.  And I saw Jason moving forward without me.  I resisted, resisted, resisted.  It felt terrible.  If you know what I mean and it's where you are at now, ask yourself - what am I resisting and why?  (As a side note, a sweet gal on one of my support group calls this morning said, "Hands down, the things that I resist the most are the exact same things that always move me forward in the process to more peace and joy.")Permission to take a break one day a week:  I've been reading a bit about taking a Sabbath.  It's been fascinating to learn about this spiritual discipline.  So upstream in our culture to take a day each week where we stop doing the things that help us feel accomplished like work, laundry, exercising, etc..  What we take a break from can look different for everyone (for instance, I keep reading about people that choose to not do any shopping on Sunday, others don't use electronics...) and I want to note that the important thing here is that in releasing some of the things we do - "we act out the reality that ultimately our worth comes from being loved by God, not from what we do." (From Sabbath Keeping, by Lynne M Baab, p95.)Again, Sabbath can look different for each of us.  As I think about some of you in the thick of this process, I want to ask:

What would it look like to take one day each week where you don't carry the heavy burden of recovery?  What would it look like to let it go, whatever that might look like, and be fully present in your life - with your children, in nature, in the moment?

I'm not asking you to deny your reality or your pain.  The burden will be there the next day, so will the pain - I just want you to consider the beauty that could come from, in the midst of this storm, taking a break.  For you.Would love to hear if you have any additional thoughts on taking a break - what has helped you?  What has made it hard to take a break?  xoxo-Shelley