In the last blog post, I shared about what God has impressed upon me recently, that there are many wives whom are isolated, alone and hopeless.  They have a secret.  One they wouldn’t dare tell anyone.  Shame, embarrassment, lies.I picture a sweet woman.  To look at her, you’d have no idea.  Every day, she adds a small weight under her clothing.  Strapped to her leg or her arm.  It’s the secrets.  The lies.  The shame.  At first, she can handle it.  She thinks she is protecting herself, her family.  But at some point, it starts to weigh her down.  And little by little, her life begins to fall apart.  It may take months, it may take years.  But the weight takes a toll on her and those involved whether she believes it or not.Does this describe you?  If so, I want you to know that there is hope for you.   God never intended for us to live alone.  To be isolated.  To have secrets.  Through Jesus, we have freedom.

John 10:10  “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

For me, I came to a place of realizing that the secrets I was holding onto so tightly, were actually pushing a wedge in my heart between God and I.  As I’ve mentioned before, I was growing a not so beautiful garden of bitter weeds in my heart  (see Hebrews 12:14-15).  I didn’t know much, but I knew that taking further steps down that road would continue to harm me.  And distance me from my God.  Being honest with myself and with God was step one.Step two, letting someone else in.  Someone you trust.  Someone that has a track record of not judging, not gossiping, not talking; but rather, a friend that listens, understands and shows empathy.  (As a side note, I think this is one of the larger nuggets I have learned from all of this…I want to be that person.  And this experience has taught me first hand how valuable those people are in our lives.  I still fail miserably in this area, but this experience has taught me and I am constantly reminded of how important it is to not only model these attributes but also to open my heart to being this type of person even when it is tempting not to.)Third, find support in one other way as well.  It could be through a support group, through a prayer group at church, through a bible study.  It could be by reading books from those that share a similar story.  My personal bias:  find someone that has been through this and is at least a couple of steps ahead of you.  They are out there!  Contact me!Sure, I want you to find people that can pour into you.  But also remember, even in our pain, hear me on this:  we can minister to others, teach others, inspire others.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

Psalm 126:6  “Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of you, carrying sheaves with them.”

Do you see?  Holding on to the secret not only is damaging to you.  It’s also damaging to your family.  Your marriage.  Your relationship with God.  And it is also damaging to others that can grow from your vulnerability, minister to you in your time of need, and learn from you.I’d love to hear from you.  What makes this so difficult?  What is your viewpoint and experience thus far when it comes to taking a small step towards healing?