Yesterday, I started a post regarding little-g gods in our lives.  You can catch it here.Kelly Minter in No Other Gods mentioned two things that can send us down the fast track to relying on other gods and not on our Heavenly Father, especially when times are tough.  She mentions times when we are feeling unloved and unchosen as two such “powerful” catalysts towards idols.In Jason’s office, he teaches about the three I’s which parallel nicely with feeling unloved and unchosen.  The three I’s are insignificance, impotence, and incompetence.  The opposite of these (significance, power and adequacy) are three core needs that when threatened, can send us into sin.  I would say that feeling unloved taps on the insignificance nerve and unchosen taps on the impotence and incompetence nerve.  (This may be a bit confusing, if so, just ignore this paragraph and keep reading!!)Kelly mentions the story in Genesis of two sisters, Rachel and Leah.  See Genesis Chapter 29 and 30.  To refresh your memory, Rachel is beautiful and Jacob was in love with her (Genesis 29:17-18).  Leah had “weak eyes” and she “was not loved”.

 Genesis 29:31  “When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless.”

Thus, Leah symbolizes the pain of being unloved (by Jacob) and Rachel symbolizes the pain of being unchosen (to have children).  We can all relate to one or both of these powerful feelings.  And their idols?  Kelly suggests that for Leah, it was Jacob and for Rachel, it was children.

 Genesis 30:1  “When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister.  So she said to Jacob, ‘Give me children, or I’ll die.’”

Genesis 29:32 “Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son.  She named him Reuben, for she said, ‘It is because the Lord has seen my misery.  Surely my husband will love me now.’”

This really hit home to me this past week as I was reading about them.  It reminds me of myself.  Of the pain of feeling unloved and unchosen.  Although I would like to say that I was able to cling to God and His promises and that I was able to open my hands wide and allow Him to completely fill the voids, I’d be lying.  For me, it wasn’t an all or nothing.  I believe that I allowed Christ to heal parts of the painful journey.  But I also allowed myself to fill some of those voids.  Through my career and thus financial security.  Through the number on the scale and thus my body image.  Through my youth and health.So, my question for you is this…in the wake of discovering your husband’s secrets and as you have moved forward (or not), has there been anything you have clung to?  Something that may have been good but has become your all?  Instead of clinging to God?  I’d love to hear from you!