Over the last week, God has been impressing something into my mind.  I can’t seem to get away from it.  And it’s this:  There are SO many hurting wives who are isolated, alone, hopeless.As I walk through this phase of my journey with my hands opening and eyes wide awake, I’m grateful for whatever God communicates to me, big or small.  But this seems a bit different.  Because I keep hearing it.  I keep seeing it.  I know it.  But I don’t know what to do with it.It makes me wonder…why is having a husband with secrets… sexual secrets so shameful?  Why is it so hard to ask for help?  Why is it so hard to share your story, parts that have never been told to anyone?I get it.  I was there.  I went nine months too long, living in isolation, not letting anyone into my secret world.  I wasn’t about to tell anyone else.  Too risky.  Too much of a loss of control.  But most of all, I thought it was all-my-fault.  If I were sexier, this wouldn’t have happened to me.  Shame.It wasn’t until I was ready to be a different person.  To find health and wholeness…that’s when I decided to reach out and ask for help.  To acknowledge my reality.  To bring light to that which was dark.

 John 3:21  “But those who live by the truth come into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.”

Maybe this is the first step:  Loving ourselves.  Respecting ourselves.  Acknowledging that God has more for us here on this earth than living in secrets and shame and darkness.  Surrender.It’s a leap of faith, no doubt.  But I want you to know:  I have NO regrets on choosing to acknowledge the state of my marriage.  And asking for help.  And dragging it into the light.  And ultimately allowing God to begin a good work in me.