On what’s saving my life right now…

Wednesday, February 10th, 2016

We talk a lot about what we are struggling with.  Rightfully so.  How else can we work through it if we aren’t talking about it, right?  Speaking of, you guys are AMAZING and I so appreciate all your kind words as I shared about my recent struggles here on the blog. Thank you for not running away and for hearing me and allowing me to be known.  It feels so good.


So today, I want us to shift our focus and consider what’s saving our lives right now.  Because for most of us reading this blog, we are in the thick of an ugly, messy betrayal that we never ever thought would be a part of our story.  And if we don’t have some strategies in place to help us get through the hour, the day, the week… well, we’re going to sink.

And if you aren’t in the thick of betrayal work, it’s something else.  For instance, it might be that you feel like the enemy is on your back (that’d be me).  This is another time when it’s so important for us to identify what is helping us survive.

I stole was inspired by this idea from a blog that I enjoy following.  And felt much better when I read that she was inspired by someone else to write about what is helping her survive.  Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve used this question at the beginning of my group calls.  It’s been really encouraging to hear the practical things women are doing in order to survive.  So without further ado, here is my list:

  • My wood-burning fire place.  I love everything about it.  The smell, the sound, the warmth.  It is so soothing.  Most evenings this winter, it’s where you can find me.
  • My running shoes and music or podcasts.  I guess to take it a step further, I have to get outside and start pounding the pavement.  All of this combined is helping me survive.


  • My newest wool blanket from west elm.  This puppy is warm and soft.
  • Chapstick (if you’re red neck) or for those of you a little more refined, it’s lip balm.


  • Warm showers.  I’ve been taking them about twice a day as of late.
  • Chocolove.  Almond and Sea Salt to be exact.  If loving you is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.


  • Downloads with Jason.  Seriously girls, lately I’ve gotten a ton of free counseling sessions from him.
  • Praying for protection.  I’ve come across some verses lately that have opened my eyes to the fact that angels are fighting for us. (See Daniel 10:20-21, 11:1.)  I tend to forget, this battle is real.
  • My girls.  Not just my support group but the groups I facilitate.  I confessed something to them this week that I’m so not proud of.  It has to do with a certain word that came out of my mouth when I really wish it hadn’t.  And they loved me even still.
  • Rocking my little boys.  Lately, I’ve been yearning to pull them into the rocking chair with me for cuddle time.  (And I think they like it just as much as me.)  Something about this cuddle time this week has been so heartwarming for me.
  • Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.  This book was a fantastic read for me.  Just finished it last week and I’m on to The Gifts of Imperfection.  Where has she been all my life?!


the list goes on and on, but I’ll stop there…

So what about you?  What is helping save your life right now?  I’d love for you to share.



14 thoughts on “On what’s saving my life right now…

  1. BethW

    February 11, 2016  |  09:18 pm

    1) manicures and pedicures- love them and they relax me. 2) walking our dogs- exercise, fresh air and the adoration of 4 dogs . 3) worship music and prayers – especially when I’m feeling sad, anxious, angry, or am bothered by intrusive thoughts .4) dates with my husband . 5) time with or talking to my best friends and my RL support group-we connect anytime one of us is struggling or have good news to share . 6) watching something non-triggering on TV like HGTV and my fave, Fixer Upper. 7) a good cry- sometimes I just need one!!.8) I am with you Shelley on the wood burning fireplace, soft blanket, and hot showers

  2. Brianne

    February 11, 2016  |  10:28 pm

    For me it’s a mixture of things…Celebrate recovery that I attend weekly at my church. If you haven’t heard of them I suggest looking one up in your area. For me it’s been life saving! Through my celebrate recovery I am attending a weekly step study where I am finding out who I am, and what makes me, me. The support and dedication of my husband in working his recovery. My bible app where surprisingly there area many marriage plans that are good short reads. Knowing I am not alone. And finally God without the strength he has given me I would have already sank.

  3. Jaleen

    February 11, 2016  |  11:50 pm

    It has been warm in CA this week, so I am loving opening up the windows to the fresh breeze! Today, a few girlfriends and I sat out in the backyard and caught up while our little ones played barefoot in the sand together, and it was medicine to my soul! Enjoy
    Your cozy fireplace and blanket! Do you have favorite podcasts to listen to while you run?

    • Jaleen

      February 11, 2016  |  11:51 pm

      Also, I ate that same chocolate bar yesterday and it was delicious

      • Shelley Martinkus

        February 15, 2016  |  09:40 pm

        No Way!!! Love. That chocolate makes me very happy.

    • Shelley Martinkus

      February 15, 2016  |  09:42 pm

      I’ve been listening lately to the Dave Ramsey show (he is really a great talk show host) and Tsh Oxenreider does one called The Simple Show. The latter one is my go-to. I feel like I’ve just barely dipped my toes into the podcast world! What about you? Any favs?

  4. caroline

    February 12, 2016  |  04:46 am

    Jesus Christ
    chubby fists (little Henry’s, not mine)
    a new-old writer/mother (I adopt new mums out of books from time to time)
    a “foxhole in the mind” to escape the flying bullets overhead
    Brad Hambrick downloads on PTSD
    Isaiah 40:31
    sunrise & bird song
    my dying father’s sickbed blessings (words I never thought I’d hear)
    chili lime peanuts and lemon seltzers
    re-reading all the “Ramona” books to my kids

  5. Suzi

    February 13, 2016  |  07:19 am

    Right now … just hearing what you and Jason had to share tonight. So transparent and real … I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that! <3

    • Shelley Martinkus

      February 15, 2016  |  09:37 pm

      I wish we could have met on Friday evening. I read this to Jason and you don’t even know how much it means to us. Thank you, Thank you. xo-Shelley

  6. Stephanie

    February 15, 2016  |  08:53 pm

    1.) My precious new grand daughters.
    2.) Christian music
    3.) Chocolate in any shape or form
    4.) Spending time with my horse, even if I am not riding.
    5.) Being outside when the weather is nice
    6.) The ladies in my real life group
    7.) Praying or talking to God about everything imaginable
    8.) My big, pink, fuzzy blanket that my daughter gave me

  7. Michelle

    February 16, 2016  |  12:50 pm

    In this moment, having this website Jason and Shelly are the lifeline God tossed when I was sinking fast. Now I have my head above water one or two times a day. Thank you.
    My precious grandkids, my warm bath.

  8. Gray

    February 17, 2016  |  02:36 am

    I thought I remembered you were a Physical Therapist? After reading your blog I have a question. When you had your last son did you have a complete hormonal panel done? I mean by a professional (mine was by a FNP) to check your estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and thyroid. I’m guessing your in your late 30’s? (my apology if I guessed wrong) 🙂 Often women only have a FSH done when they have their yearly physical @ the OB-GYN. It is critical with the symptoms you described (anxiety, depression, fatigue, headaches, sleep deprived) to have the panel. Hormones play a big role in our lives as women & they can vary (get out of whack) due to monthly cycle, stress, having babies, etc. If you have not had these tests done please consider. As part of “self-care” & if you have a family history or are over age 35.And then get a copy & check your lab results. I found my Hashimoto’s, not my Endocrine dr. We have enough stress with our personal lives without our bodies betraying us too. Oh get the Vitamin D checked. If any of your readers have these type symptoms please consider having the tests. Then other health problems can be ruled out. Blessings!

    • Shelley Martinkus

      February 17, 2016  |  04:17 am

      Hi! To answer your question, yes! I did have my hormones plus thyroid checked. Everything was within normal limits.

  9. Gray

    February 17, 2016  |  02:44 am

    Hashimoto’s is a thyroid disease. It affects more women than men. A diseased thyroid can cause a lot of debilitating symptoms. When I started paying attention to my labs (I have Lupus) did I find the thyroid disease.

    I just purchased the 8th copy of Jason’s book to give to local churches/ministries in my area. Tell him @ this rate I might need a bulk discount. 🙂

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