On the importance of connection
Thursday, November 3rd, 2016
I have another confession to make (oh goodness, seems like I’ve been making a lot of these lately!). Jason and I have done a great job at connecting once the littles go to bed over the last several years of our journey together. But lately – oh lately – we have allowed other things to come between that sacred space we’ve worked so hard to create.
Writing deadlines, a kitchen convo series that we’ve yearned to get out there into the world, extreme exhaustion, littles that want extra cuddle time – you name it and we’ve allowed other (oftentimes well-meaning) things to creep in.
So last week, we both decided – no more. We are reclaiming that precious time. We needed to get back on the couch and connect with each other at the end of the day. The end.
And so, we carved out 60-90 minutes in the evening to connect.
By the end of last week, we both agreed, we were back on track.
This week has been more of the same – sitting down on the couch, connecting, sharing our hearts. And it’s been good. Deep, sacred, fully knowing one another.
We sat there at the end of last night, staring eye to eye, feeling so proud of ourselves – realizing that this is how we really want to live. And that it might just be worth having a messy house, not writing as much as we want or saying “no” to an invite in order to make sure we are connected to each other at the end of the day.
Because connection is top of mind for us right now and because of the importance of it – we are going to be talking about connection and what it looks like to live in community with one another all. month. long.
Connecting with God, ourselves and others as we walk through the painful and glorious parts of this journey is critical. This connection, or living in intimacy is the antidote to so much. It’s the antidote to acting in, to shame, to acting out. It’s the silver bullet.
With that being said, it’s important for us to ask ourselves – how are we doing connecting with God? Connecting with ourselves? And connecting with others? If we are lacking in any of these areas – it puts us at risk to isolate even more and that’s exactly where Satan likes us to be.
We start to believe the lies about ourselves. We start to feel the weight of shame. And we start to think that we are worthless, not enough, and unlovable the way we are.
Dragging whatever it might be that we are hiding into the light is the best and only way to live.
I’ve discovered that there seems to be this cumulative effect – the more I connect with God, the more I connect with others, and the more I connect with myself. Likewise, if I’m feeling a disconnect with myself – I tend to struggle to connect with others and most likely, I’m not feeling connected with God.
So take a moment and reflect on this question – when you are feeling pain – do you isolate? Or do you comfort yourself and allow yourself to feel. Do you reach out to someone you trust to share your heart? Or do you push others away? Last, do you press into God when you are feeling pain or do you push him out?
Here is the thing – relationships are dynamic. As soon as we think we have this figured out – life throws us a curve ball and we’re scrambling to put life back into order (think: what I mentioned at the beginning of the blog post about Jason and I falling out of our connection routine).
So know that connection falls in the life work category. We will work toward connecting for the rest of our days on this earth.
In the next post, I’m going to discuss what it looks like when connecting with God, ourselves and others doesn’t put salve on the wounds or help the pain.