I’ve got work to do – Part 2
Tuesday, November 28th, 2017
I was waiting for the perfect opportunity for my big release.
(I encourage the women in my groups to go before God and ask Him – is there a particular way that you’d like for me to forgive my husband? The other woman, the other man? That said, I’ve heard of some really powerful ways that this forgiveness work has transpired – releasing helium balloons with each one symbolizing a different hurt, hurling rocks in a lake with each one labeled with a different offense.)
I wanted to get creative – and at the same time, I wanted to be obedient to what I knew would be a fleeting kairos moment that I felt deep in my soul.
(Side note – do y’all know what I mean by this? Oftentimes, I sense God pushing me to forgive someone for a minor offense or to be generous with my time or money. I hear it, I acknowledge it…and then life moves on and it becomes a fleeting desire that I never act upon. This happens so often to me. So I KNEW – creativity needed to just fly right out the window so I could be obedient to what He was asking of me.)
So I asked God. I waited.
And what I ended up doing was neither glitzy nor glamorous. I tucked my youngest in bed for his nap last Tuesday afternoon and had exactly one hour before my olders would walk in the door from elementary school. I knew it was time.
I sat down with my Bible, pen and journal. I prepared my heart by writing out about 5 verses to inspire me to let it go. Here’s a couple of them –
Work toward being compassionate, kind, humble, patient and gentle. I choose to forgive because Jesus forgives me. I choose to love because this is the greatest commandment. (paraphrased from Colossians 3:12-14)
It’s good for me to suffer so that I might learn your ways, LORD. (paraphrased from Psalm 119:71)
I then asked Jesus to be right by my side. I took each woman individually (I added one more to the mix, after a rough weekend with a neighbor) and started with confessing what I did wrong.** What I regretted doing or not doing. I then spent just a little bit of energy writing out how I was hurt. And then I released each one of them – pen and paper, just me and God.
This took me less than an hour to do and by the time I was done, not only was my hand cramping but my soul felt lighter (I say this because I never really think it’s going to work! Anyone relate?)
However – and it’s a really BIG however – I missed some critical steps that I wouldn’t have realized if it hadn’t been for me processing this with my life coach.
And I’m SO thrilled to share this with you ladies in Part 3 because I think it’s really REALLY big!!! Don’t worry, you won’t be waiting long for the conclusion.
Until then, any of you feel like there is someone God is asking you to release? Anyone that comes to mind that is taking up so much emotional energy that it’s time to sit down and do some business with God and experience more freedom than you have at this very moment? Would love to hear your thoughts!
xo – Shelley
(**A note to those of you contemplating forgiving your husband after finding out about his betrayal – I don’t know that in your case there will be much, if any “confession work” for you to do. Confession and asking God to reveal any shortcomings is important work but to be clear, I’ve yet to meet a woman that forced her husband to look at porn or have an affair. For these sorts of hurts, I can’t imagine there is anything to confess.
What I shared in this blog post is about releasing women that I’ve been in relationship with where the hurts have been much much more minor than betrayal in marriage. Thus, this is slightly different than the forgiveness work you will do with your husband. I would never want you to think you bear any blame for your husband’s choices (which is something I struggled with for months and is why I want to make this perfectly clear).
I hope this helps clarify any doubts creeping in. xo)