I’m a better person when…

Friday, October 12th, 2018

Hey Y’all – before I get into this short and sweet blog post for today – just three quick things I want you to be aware of. 

First – there are two new groups starting in November.  If you are interested at all in one of these groups – I would love to hear from you. 

Second – the Restore Workshop is just around the corner!  Would love for you to join me there – it’s a packed weekend and I promise you will walk away with so much hope and clarity as to your next steps to move forward toward wholeness and freedom!

Third – I enjoyed being on this podcast a couple of weeks ago.  If you listen to it – you might notice it sounds like I am running around during the first 5-6 minutes of the show.  And that’s because I WAS.  I was on my land-line and the battery was low (and beeping) and I was literally running around the house from room to room looking for the 2nd phone which took me a loooooong while to find.  Oh my goodness – talk about terrible timing.


It was last Sunday at church that I thought these 5 words – “I’m a better person when…”  I found myself actually looking for people I knew to say “hi” to in the hallways after church versus my usual – keeping my head down, collecting my kids and flying out the door.

I thought to myself – I am a better person when I actually make an intentional effort to connect with people I know.

Another reminder that while isolation is always easier – it’s not in any kind of way better.

And then I started to wonder – what else makes me a better person?  So I started compiling a list and here is the start of it –

I’m a better person when…

  • I get up before my kids and have even just 5-10 minutes to connect with myself and God before my day gets underway.
  • I carve out space to exercise.
  • I call the mail lady by name and say a word or ten when I see her at my door or on the street.
  • I have food in my pantry and in my fridge.
  • I have clear boundaries and expectations with my children and I stick to what I say.
  • I make my Friday morning date with Jason a priority.
  • I reach for a vegetable instead of a slice of cake. (Which I just indulged in and loved every bite!  haha!  Maybe I should remove this one from my list.)
  • I carve out time at the end of the day to cuddle with each of my boys once they are in bed.
  • I map out my week by Sunday evenings – just so there are no surprises.
  • I have margin in my day (which I haven’t had in the last 10 days or so – eeks!).

That is literally the very beginning of what could turn into a long list.  I’d love for you to join me in thinking this through as you go about your day and then sharing with me – what are the things that make you a better you.

And then – let’s go do them (minus subbing the veggies for cake) – ’cause we all need a little cake in our lives!

xo – Shelley

8 thoughts on “I’m a better person when…

  1. Tracy Binder

    October 15, 2018  |  12:01 pm

    Thanks Shelly I have been on a similar journey:

    I am better when I use my voice
    I am better when I pray for someone right away instead of saying I will pray for you
    I am better when I pour into my kids
    I am better when I slow down and look my kids in the eyes when they are speaking to me
    I am better when I can be a helper to others
    I am better when have a goal and go for it
    I am better when go to bed early
    I am better when I go to small group in my sweats and not dress up

    Love you girl.

    • Shelley Martinkus

      October 15, 2018  |  12:06 pm

      yay Tracy! Thanks so much for taking the time to share what makes you a better person! Especially love the one on prayer and the one involving sweat pants! xoxo – Shelley

  2. Chelle

    October 17, 2018  |  09:46 pm

    You challenge me in so many ways
    Thank you
    I am a better person when…
    I am reading my bible and in prayer daily , not just wishing I was , but truly am,
    *when I’m being honest with myself about ( fill in the blank!)
    *when I’m in contact with my parents
    *when I’m resting well and practicing self care
    *when I journal
    *when I am fully known with my go to girls
    * when I realize I just can’t please everyone, so choose Jesus and one other person a day!

    • Shelley Martinkus

      October 19, 2018  |  12:23 pm

      Love this girl!!! Being honest with ourselves – wow – that is something that is so hard for me to do and I agree – I am a better person when I face whatever it is head on and get honest. Thank you for your wise words! xo – Shelley

  3. Kori

    October 22, 2018  |  09:47 pm

    Well, I have had an aha moment with your info. I downloaded the PDF of “Rescued” and spent the next 10 minutes with my jaw dropped realizing you are explaining my husband. Selfish, detached and feeling abandoned is his story. I am praying now on how to move forward with this info and hear God in the midst. Thank you!
    I will be thinking about “How I am better…”

    • Shelley Martinkus

      October 23, 2018  |  11:26 am

      Kori – oh boy. Thanks for sharing. I can imagine you felt all sorts of emotions when you started reading the material from utter disbelief to relief. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions or need support. xo – Shelley

  4. TU

    October 26, 2018  |  03:40 pm

    I am better when I’m present for my life and grant myself grace for being “human.”
    We ladies have a multitude of expectations that will wear us out. I’m finding that I don’t need a list of things that I will not be able to keep.
    Live in the moment.

    • Shelley Martinkus

      October 27, 2018  |  10:57 am

      This is a poignant reminder to me right now, TU, because I am sick and in bed and feeling so powerless. I must give myself grace for being human, and humans get sick, and humans need rest. Surrendering and living in the moment – while such a hard place to get to – is where I’d rather be than feeling powerless and frustrated. Thanks for the reminder! xo – Shelley

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