From the Serious to the Superficial – this is what’s on my mind…

Wednesday, July 26th, 2017

Hi Ladies!

We are more than half way through the summer and it’s been disjointed and scattered to say the least.  I’m a woman who doesn’t like change and thrives on routine so summer is a stretch for me.  It’s working for me though; I just have to remind myself to breathe, relax, and go with the flow.

I’d love to share with you some of the things that are on my mind as of late, curious if any of you can relate –

#1 – Jason and I joined a private pool this summer as I felt that it would be a good reprieve from our non-air-conditioned house.  We’ve never been big pool or beach people.  {As a side note – I had hopes as a young gal that I could achieve a gorgeous tan – I seriously thought that at some point, all my freckles would merge into one big freck and I could achieve that warm glow.  But no, it didn’t happen and two decades later, I see no incentive to spend time laying out in the sun where I will just grow more freckles. More about my freckles here in a bit.}  Back to the point – can I just tell you how awkward it is going to pools in the summer?  I’m sorry but post-betrayal + pool attire = awkward.  And then when Jason joins us = super awkward!!  On the outside, I’m cool as a cucumber but on the inside this is what is going on – “what is he thinking?  Did he just see that?  Oh my I feel like I’m in that woman’s bedroom right now!”  Anyone else feel this way?!

#2 -I realized earlier this month that I still have some trust issues with Jason.  I seriously thought we were past all of this, friends.  Like done.  But nope, God exposed another area of growth for me, for us.  In particular, I don’t trust Jason with our finances.  Is there anyone else out there that struggles with this?!  I find so much power and control deciding where our money goes and quite frankly, being the ultimate gatekeeper of it.  Eeks!  So here I go, trying to figure out what it looks like to let go a little {or a lot}.

#3 – We went to this amazing restaurant in Salt Lake City earlier this month and all the workers in the restaurant had red hair!  I even asked our waitress – is this a prerequisite for working here?  She laughed and told me no.  The hostess in particular was really pretty with her red hair AND freckles and ladies, something shifted inside of me.  I looked down at my freckles and thought – maybe they aren’t so bad after all!  It was so cool.  It actually has me thinking I want to get less highlights so my strawberry blond hair (that might not be so strawberry blonde anymore) can shine through!  Talk about this worthiness project paying off!

#4 – I never read fiction, like never.  But my mom encouraged me to read this book and I couldn’t put it down.  Have any of you read it?  It messed me up for days – weeks, I’m still thinking about it.  And speaking of red hair and freckles, I recently watched this series on Netflix and LURVED it!  Anyone else out there a fan?

I know this is a different sort of blog post but thought maybe something lighter for the summer would be enjoyable {see?!  I’m really trying to embrace this summer thing!}

Love you ladies and would love to hear from you – any of this resonate?  What’s on your heart?  Anything from the deep to the superficial that you’d like to share?



14 thoughts on “From the Serious to the Superficial – this is what’s on my mind…

  1. caroline

    July 27, 2017  |  05:06 pm

    #1 Lakes. PRIVATE access lakes.
    Me: in long swim trunks and shirt, swimming with delighted kids. Watch out for the swan couple, they attack!
    When the neighbor shows up to race around on his jet ski pulling screaming bikini girl on a inner tube, we put out the campfire and leave.

    #2 Finances are an area where Chris can really build trust or destroy it. As he runs his own business our income fluctuates and is somewhat driven seasonally. He is the free spirit and I am the nerd FOR SURE. I like to hide money

    • Shelley Martinkus

      July 27, 2017  |  07:25 pm

      You always make me laugh Caroline!!! Thanks for helping me feel like I’m not alone. And truth be told, I’m the nerd, too – at least from Dave Ramsey’s definition – that’d be me! Heck, I’d rather hide money than eat chocolate!! Thanks for chiming in friend! xo-Shelley

  2. Bonnie Dittes

    July 27, 2017  |  07:14 pm

    Your honesty and articulation of the insecurities we feel hit home. It’s obvious how deep this addiction goes into our being and how much strength we have to muster in dealing with it. It helps to know that I’m not the only woman feeling these types of insecurities

    • Shelley Martinkus

      July 27, 2017  |  07:27 pm

      Hi Bonnie! We are strong women for sure!!! I was just telling a friend earlier via text – it’s almost comical to me now going to the pool and dealing with the awkwardness. Maybe there is an acceptance now?? I’m kinda like – what ev, if that even makes sense!

  3. Bonnie K

    July 27, 2017  |  07:17 pm

    We’ve only gone to the lakeshore one time this summer and it was really to go to the shops—-Avoiding the beach altogether. I have good days and bad days about missing out on what I’ve always loved. You are right Shelley, change is hard. Xo

    • Shelley Martinkus

      July 27, 2017  |  07:29 pm

      yes, the missing out is something to grieve for sure. Especially if you love the beach or the pool. Thank goodness for me, these spots have never been my absolute favorite (beaches and pools) because of my fair skin. Great to see you here bonnie! xoxo-Shelley

  4. Becky

    July 27, 2017  |  07:24 pm

    My friend and I just had this discussion about the pool/beach. How do men stay pure? It’s a struggle for ME not to notice the lack of clothing in general. I feel the awkwardness you feel too Shelley.
    I have many trust issues and finances is one of them. Because my husband is an extreme conflict avoider, he hides anything that might cause me to question his expenditures.
    The superficial comment is I’m working on a decent tan this year but I know it will age me. Darn!

    • Shelley Martinkus

      July 27, 2017  |  07:33 pm

      Love it Becky! When I was penning the blog post, I started to write about how much I notice and stare (much like a man with a sexual integrity issue would) but was worried I’d come across as a total (fill in the blank)! So I took it out. As for the tan, at least you can get tan! haha! I just get freckles. But I’m embracing those frecks these days. Happy tanning to you! xoxo – Shelley

  5. Jaleen

    July 27, 2017  |  07:50 pm

    YES the pool. So difficult. I’m thankful that we are Californians that don’t live by the beach at this season of marriage! BUT we do go to the pool and lake often and it definitely isn’t care-free like it used to be. And I’m learning to embrace my freckles as well 🙂

    • Shelley Martinkus

      July 27, 2017  |  07:57 pm

      Three cheers for freckles sweet Jaleen!!! I might add a photo of mine tomorrow to the blog. 🙂 xoxo – Shelley

  6. Leslie

    August 1, 2017  |  09:11 am

    Yes the beach and pool !!!!is so hard to go to but our family was gifted a week vaca in a time share at the beach to celebrate “my husband just went thru 36 weeks radiation &”Chemo” still on feeding tube for Throat cancer !!! He also losing his job in Jan .So funds are tight !!anyway while grateful adult daughters can go with us ,my heart is racing with fear of what my husbands eyes will feast on ” found things on his phone ,man in recovery would not be involved with .only time open to go is aug.!!! I was praying for weeks to be open in late sept more healing time for husbandLadies the fear that gripped my heart .! I’m being so triggered !!!Lord help my heart from the triggers well Ladies He heard my cries. My husband fell and fractured his foot broke his toeand is in boot cast and is on crutches and the condo is on 2nd floor with lots of steps so limited pool,Probably no beach time . God is protecting my heart and I’m going to enjoy ‘this time with my sweet daughters and enjoy this gift he’s giving us .Our anniversary was yesterday 41yrs I’m still waiting” for my husband to make amends and restore , EMB was 4yrs ago “as God is showing me weather my husband is doing what ever it takes to win my heart back or not “no he’s not !!! I’m enough even if I don’t tan or look like others So I’m embracing me and I’m going to have fun new suit included!!! Yes my husband wants to still go ! Shelly you are truly a Trophy of Grace and I’m honored by your and Jason’s ministry . I will lean into Jesus to restore my heart and give me courage one step at a time

    • Shelley Martinkus

      August 1, 2017  |  03:59 pm

      you got this Leslie! I LURVE when you said this – “I’m enough even if I don’t tan or look like others so I’m embracing me…”. Yes Ma’am! You ARE enough! xoxo

  7. Chelle

    August 30, 2017  |  08:15 am

    Pool , lake, beach always my happy place
    No more , unless I’m with friends and then I’m doing the same as you ladies by at others and seeing what I lack , seeing the fake ( to each her own) right in your face
    One more non safe place , but it’s everywhere women are getting work done i their 20’s …
    If I am not able to get my worthiness from God alone there will be no peace , this is my journey
    Thanks for sharing Shelley

    • Shelley Martinkus

      September 1, 2017  |  01:23 pm

      yes, so true, it must come from God. Our worthiness. first and foremost. Thanks Chelle for sharing your perspective. xoxo

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