Fan the Flame – Part 2

Friday, December 20th, 2019

In the last blog post, we talked about three things that can be a detriment to our self-confidence.

I’m interested in this topic right now because ladies – it’s something that I struggle with.  As I said before – while I do think the light within us might dim – I am confident (get it?!) that it will never go out.  We truly must fan the flame.

And fanning the flame is one of the things I am focusing on these days.

There are a total of 5 things I have identified which can help with this rebuilding of confidence.  Too much for one blog post so I am sharing the first two here today and the final three here shortly.

#1 – Investing Your Heart In Something Valuable to You

For several years now – I have wanted to do a boot camp at the exercise studio I’ve gone to for the last eight or so years.  I’ve always felt like I didn’t want to spend my money on it and I also felt kinda awkwardly vain desiring to do so.  What would it say about me if I chose to invest more than a regular exercise studio membership on my physique?

After discussing this with Jason – he encouraged me to give it a try.  (To be clear – his encouragement wasn’t coming from a place of wanting my body to look differently.  If that had been the case – I would probably have done something that I’d regret.)  Jason knows how long I’ve wanted to do this boot camp and he also knows how hard it is for me to spend money on things that aren’t imperatives.  Well – the opportunity came up right before Halloween this year and I enrolled in the 4-week boot camp.

I went in with some pretty high expectations.  I really thought I would see a radical transformation.  While that didn’t happen – something else did that I see as even more important and beneficial.  It gave me confidence, empowerment and I felt better.

The reason I walked away with more confidence was because I did something that was hard.  I challenged myself and made the boot camp a priority.  I wasn’t sure if I could swing it – but I did it.

It also gave me confidence because I made myself a priority.  I invested (time and money) in ME.

It got me thinking.  And I realized that part of restoring my dignity is investing (heart, soul, time, money, etc.) in things that I value.

I want you to think about what you value and how you can invest your time and money in those things in order to start to rebuild dignity and confidence.  If you aren’t familiar with values work – it’s super fun.  Email me if you would like some resources.

#2 – Doing Something that Helps Your Body Feel Well

Just so you know, this does not have to be exercise.  The end.

I have been sick this week and boy, does it affect me.  We were supposed to get professional photos taken at our office for my new website and I had to reschedule because I wasn’t feeling well.  Since then, I’ve gone from bad to still bad.

I was telling Jason last night that getting photos taken while sick sounds like the worst idea ever.  We want to feel at our best when we get photos taken – we want to feel alive and beautiful!  Not close to death’s door with scabs around our nostrils. Sigh.

When my body doesn’t feel well – my confidence is in the toilet.  Which begs the question – what can I do to help my body feel well?

I think the easy answer is exercise and eat well – and I agree that these things help.  But there is so much more than this.  Here are some other, sometimes more important things that help me feel well in my body –  listening to my gut, acknowledging how I feel, sharing my heart with those I find safe, recognizing my limiting beliefs (or lies) – and also – laughter.

What about for you?  It could be dancing or listening to music.  It could be brushing your teeth and doing your hair (I struggle with the latter of these). Think about what helps you feel well in your body.

Because confidence comes from within – it’s important that we are nourishing ourselves with the things that will help us feel well.

As we enter the final weekend before Christmas – I want you to hold tight to point #2 above.  Listen to your body.  Don’t ignore your gut.  Do what you can to help your body feel well.

Would love to hear your thoughts on these first two and stay tuned for the next three!

xo – Shelley

12 thoughts on “Fan the Flame – Part 2

  1. Georgette Wells

    December 21, 2019  |  08:08 pm

    Love it!! thanks for sharing.


    • Shelley Martinkus

      December 28, 2019  |  02:12 pm

      Absolutely Georgette! Thanks for reading and for your encouragement! xo – Shelley


  2. Joy

    December 22, 2019  |  07:22 am

    So, SO good, Shelley! I want to learn more about the values work you mentioned, am really growing in learning what helps me to feel well in my body (for instance, I need a lot of rest and stillness right now, and practice saying “no”), and can’t wait to hear your next three points. Thank you!!


    • Shelley Martinkus

      December 28, 2019  |  02:12 pm

      You are welcome Joy! I will email you the values information next week. xo


  3. DJ Crossman

    December 22, 2019  |  10:02 am

    Once again, you’re speaking something I need to hear, thank you! Focusing on self care is still a foreign concept to me. I’ve struggled with it because it doesn’t always feel like the Christian thing to do and yet, I exhibit the fruits of the spirit more clearly when I take care of me.


    • Shelley Martinkus

      December 28, 2019  |  02:11 pm

      hmmmm… what a wonderful and poignant comment, DJ. The fact that you exhibit MORE Christ-like qualities when you are loving yourself well – now this is really something that is causing me to pause. Such a great reflection. Thanks for sharing your heart. xo – Shelley


  4. Sheri

    December 23, 2019  |  07:56 am

    As always Thank you for your encouragement and timely words!


    • Shelley Martinkus

      December 28, 2019  |  02:09 pm

      You are welcome Sheri!!!


  5. Chelle

    December 24, 2019  |  10:35 pm

    I’m grinning so big right now
    Good job sweet girl ! Thank you for this affirmation of taking care of our hearts, minds and bodies !!
    Merry Christmas


    • Shelley Martinkus

      December 28, 2019  |  02:08 pm

      Love you girl and thanks for your encouragement!!! xo – Shelley


  6. Chelle

    December 24, 2019  |  10:37 pm

    P.s. values … so important !!


    • Shelley Martinkus

      December 28, 2019  |  02:08 pm

      yes, so important!!!


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