Artichoke Analogy, Part 2

Monday, June 18th, 2012

I’m going to stick with the artichoke analogy, as I realize it applies to another facet of forgiveness.  If you haven’t read part 1 of the Artichoke Analogy,  you may do so here.  During the first year of our recovery, I would dream about the day I would forgive Jason.  It seemed so impossible.  I thought when I was ready to walk through that door, I would forgive Jason, shut the door, and we would move on, never looking back.  That wasn’t the case.  Indeed, the day did come when I took that leap of faith and forgave Jason (I’ll explain that later)…but what transpired after, I had no idea.

Within 24 hours of forgiving Jason, I felt hurt and resentment creep back into my heart.  I panicked!  How could this be, Lord?  After all this work?  And it was God whom spoke to me and reminded me of a story in Matthew.

 Matthew 18:21-22  “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive someone who sins against me?  Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Ok, got it God.  This isn’t a close-the-door-kind of forgiveness and walk away.  This is a continue-to-forgive kind of forgiveness for as long as it takes.  And I think of the artichoke.  Each “pointy leaf” represents a multitude of times that I’ve forgiven Jason.  And then there are the interior leaves of the artichoke and the fuzzy choke…how many times again?

Keep “whittling” away at the artichoke.  Good things are to come!


2 thoughts on “Artichoke Analogy, Part 2

  1. Dana

    April 14, 2020  |  12:19 pm

    Discovery #1 for me was March 2019. My husband had a five year affair with someone he met online. Discovery #2 was December 2019. I found out about a one night stand at a business conference seven years ago. My husband has been 110% there to help me heal, contrite, aware of his WHY and is working on the issues that caused him to make these choices. But I still feel tremendous hurt, angst, despair. We have done/are doing individual therapy, marriage counseling, prayer, but I just don’t seem to be making progress. Ruminating thoughts, feeling the burden on carrying around what he was able to lift off his shoulders…I do feel like I need to continue to forgive every day. But I want the hurt and pain, images, sadness, crying jags to go away. I need guidance on what to do next! How do I keep “whittling” when I can’t get past the hurt?

    • Shelley Martinkus

      April 15, 2020  |  05:21 pm

      Oh Dana – I hear you. I want you to know I wouldn’t expect for you to be past the hurt and pain. You are so fresh into this – four months! It sounds like someone is putting a lot of pressure on you to heal and move forward. Even women on the fast track aren’t past the pain in four months. And I think that’s what makes this so incredibly difficult because the pain feels sometimes unbearable. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you need additional support. xo – Shelley

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.