2015 Intentionals

Thursday, January 8th, 2015

I heart fresh starts.  Whether it’s a simple as a new day or as complicated as when Jason and I chose to try to heal our marriage.  And maybe that’s really at the core of why I love fresh starts.  Because it reminds me of the fact that God can do anything.  He worked a miracle in my life when He paved the way for Jason and I to redeem our marriage.  I’m not saying it wasn’t incredibly painful or difficult.  Because it was.

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I see starting a new year as a total fresh start, too.  An opportunity for us to look back at the year we are leaving and think through what we loved, what we hated.  What we got right (and want to do more of) and what we got terribly wrong and need to readjust.  It’s also a time to reflect, practice gratitude and be thankful for the many blessings bestowed upon – us big or small from the year before.

I’m asking for you to carve out time, soon, to think about what you desire for 2015 as well as to reflect on 2014.  Use the thoughts in the preceding paragraph or the questions here to get started.

I mentioned here some of the things I’m grateful for from 2014.  And now I want to share some of the big things I’m planning to work on in 2015.

1.  Insecurity.  I thought I had nipped this a couple of years ago.  But just like most things, it’s a process and it’s dynamic.  Always changing.  I guess you could say I’m sitting in the ebb of the ebb and flow of security.  I haven’t done much about it other than to name it.  And know that it’s something I need to work through.  It’s a focus for me this year.  What about you, is God calling you to look at a core need, like security, and work through what it looks like to live it well?

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2.  Being Intentional with my time.  Primarily when it comes to my family and when it comes to media, specifically my phone.  This year, I want to make sure I am soaking in my little boys.  Jason and I won’t start the “momma-dadda clock” over.  We are done having babies.  With that decision, comes a reality – they are growing up before my eyes.  I’m not sure what exactly it looks like to be more intentional with them, but I know time is not on my side.  And that’s where my phone comes in.  I’ve already cut way back on TV, as in I probably watch an hour of TV/month.  (If you love TV, don’t feel bad.  Trust me, I could win an award for the amount of TV I’ve watched in my lifetime.)  This is simply my way of making more time for things that are more important to me like reading, writing, playing with my littles and connecting with Jason.  And yet, I think there is more time I can carve out for better things.  What would it look like to retire my smart phone and instead have a dumb phone?  What would it look like to not check my phone every 10 minutes?  These are questions I’d like to answer and hopefully in the process, find a better balance when it comes to being intentional with my time.  What about you, is there anything you’d like to be more intentional about in 2015?  Maybe related to relationships or related to how you spend your time?

3.  Loving me as much as I love my family and friends.  I was with Harrison and Norman yesterday and we walked past a Whole Foods.  I noticed on the window, there was a saying.  It said something like this:  “What if you chose to love yourself just as much as you love others?”  I loved it.  And I realized that it marries up with some of my intentionals for 2015.  What does it look like to put fuel in my body that will make my body skip for joy?  What does it look like to take care of myself just as much as I take care of the needs of my little boys?  What does it look like to encourage myself as much as I encourage Jason or a friend?  I’m pondering this right now and already have some specific ideas of things I need to do different this year to love myself well.  What about for you?  How can you love yourself just as much as you love your littles?  In what areas do you not love yourself well and what could it look like to love yourself well in those areas?

I’d so love to hear what specifically you are thankful for from 2014 and what you are working towards in this New Year.  And I pinkie-promise to keep you guys posted on how I progress as I focus in on these three areas of my life!

Heart,

Shelley

4 thoughts on “2015 Intentionals

  1. Caroline

    January 9, 2015  |  11:45 pm

    I have a dumb phone and so does my husband and we live on. It can be done!

    No smart phone was a huge part of our boundaries for him and after two years it still works great for both of us. Since they can text, hold messages, take & send pictures, and play movies and audio, I still have permission to access his phone 24/7 without any notice. The screens are pretty tiny but just the same we had all internet access capabilities removed from both. Again, it was part of the boundaries and trust building plan after his full disclosure, but it guards my time as well.

    I like your second goal of being more intentional. Somewhat related is my goal of living fully in the moment and being truly alive and available to whom I’m with. To bring my heart to everyday, even the bad ones, and let God, NOT my lists, define what is important. To put the quality of my relationships before the quality of my busy lists.

    With a new baby it is really easy to just slide through the days, getting by however I can, thinking surely there will be a better time “later” for the sacred things. Giving only half my brain to the current conversation while planning my next 10 moves with the other half.

    My little Henry is six weeks old today and his face already looks so different. Did I look at him enough, I mean really look at him and see him during those first amazing days on earth?

    I don’t feel I did, and I didn’t even take many pictures either. He was in the back seat so much those first weeks around the holidays, strapped into his wee car seat, facing the rear window with me up in front, looking forward out the window on my way to do the really important things… like shop.

    Yesterday, I found out a dear friend of mine is living the nightmare that causes mothers everywhere to cower with terror when they allow the very thought of it to run through their minds. At 4 AM one day this week she fed her beautiful 4 month old baby boy, put him back down to sleep and three hours later when she checked on him, he was dead.

    A baby whose very conception and birth had been somewhat of a miracle, was gone. His brief life brought joy and hope to so many lives, and now parents, siblings, grandparents and a circle of other relatives and friends are left with a gaping hole and an utter bewilderment.

    His death makes no sense in light of their intentional plans, which were of course to have a happy family of three very loved and valued children. There are only two little ones needing to be fed and clothed, and cleaned and tucked in now, yet no one is happy for the lighter load of “work” on the lists.

    I clutch Henry to my bosom and pull my other children close. How long do I have them? God only knows. Lists be damned, we can’t quantify people. Being in the presence of another human being, made in the image of God, is a truly sacred experience. May I know this every minute.

    Good luck with your intentions!


    • rlforwomen

      January 10, 2015  |  10:01 pm

      Thanks Caroline! I’ll keep you posted. Happy Six weeks to baby Henry. And Amen to this: “Lists be damned, we can’t quantify people. Being in the presence of another human being, made in the image of God, is truly a sacred experience.” Love.


  2. Becky Clanton

    January 15, 2015  |  07:36 pm

    I am so there with you girls about the phones, my husband and I have agreed that dumb phones are here to stay. That is one boundary we put in place that won’t change.
    Also Caroline my youngest, Isaac is almost six months and reading about your dear friend who has just lost her precious baby broke my heart. It makes me hold Isaac a little longer before bed every night and be thankful for the joyful blessing he is and forget about my stupid “to-do’ lists. Moving into 2015 I am so glad to be leaving 2014 behind me with all of its disappointments, struggles and fears. This year my focus is to work on not comparing myself to others, start navigating how to have healthy anger and ditch the unhealthy, and live in truth instead of believing the lies. I’m sure there will be more to add to the list but it’s a place to start.


    • rlforwomen

      January 15, 2015  |  08:27 pm

      Go Becky! I’m excited to hear about your goals! Absolutely they might change but we have to start somewhere! Thanks for commenting and hope to see you here again soon. Love, Shelley


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